Resentment, as a way to devalue what is important and valuable, is always in use. Otherwise, how can you force a person whom you cannot control completely to do as you want? And the strings of the soul are pulled and cut by the sharp movements of devaluation... Pricks into the very heart to check whether you love me enough now to forgive and accept me like this? A vengeful, offended child, on the one hand testing the boundaries of the relationship in the hope that they will not break, and on the other - at the same moment testing the border of his own freedom... If you pull too hard, the relationship will break. They will break like a thread that can no longer withstand the weight. After all, no one wants to be a way of self-affirmation. Nobody wants to be the function of quenching the pain of rejection by someone significant, once before you... Nobody wants to be the function of plugging the hole of uselessness, because it can only be filled by one’s own self-acceptance and it is filled only from the inside. But resentment as a way of regulation distance - remains. Your step in acceptance as it is, recognition in spite of your pride and pride - that the other is important and valuable - is the first brick in accepting dependence on the other. Which you are so afraid of and which previously brought so much pain... But without trusting another with the most valuable thing, your softest and most tender part of yourself - how can you experience intimacy? Trust is an indispensable condition for intimacy in a relationship. And when it is not there, it is replaced by resentment as a way of control. Controlling what cannot be controlled and will never be controlled - your love. It either exists or it doesn’t. Unconditional love is always there. But between two people it is very easy to break love. To break that thin thread that connects two souls breathing in unison... Resentments are only a surrogate for real relationships. They are about power. Not about love. About love - vulnerability. Through all your wounds, see what God showed you through them. Self-control rests on trust in God. And when you know how to manage yourself, know yourself, then the freedom of another does not threaten you with rupture. You trust your feelings and don’t try to manipulate how people treat you. You are simply in this flow of love and grateful for every moment. You accept any development of events as a blessing. So why be afraid? You cannot lose anything, because you have nothing. Everything here is with God. You simply decide whether to bring Him through yourself, or play ego games. And this is your choice, which determines what the next course of your destiny will be.© Maria Zamoldinova