An individual’s psychological stability and harmony can be judged by assessing two main aspects: the ability to experience emotions and the ability to empathize. Everything else is details. empathy, by the way, stems from the ability to experience emotions, since how open a person is to contact depends on his ability to accept his own and other people’s emotions. The attitude towards one’s emotions is a key indicator that reflects the state of the entire emotional system. There is only one natural method of handling with emotions - their experience. All the rest are methods of avoiding emotions, which can have various negative consequences. Let's look at some of them and their possible consequences.1. Transforming emotion into action When the internal resource is limited, it becomes difficult to tolerate the emotion, and the search for activity begins. The client’s question is “what should I do about this?” often asked to psychologists. It is necessary not to act, but to learn to transform “doing” into “being.” Getting stuck in this compensatory mechanism leads to a simplification of the emotional world, suppression of sensitivity, and it becomes difficult for a person to be in the present and enjoy it. Sometimes there is a need to go somewhere.2. The desire for relief All types of addictions arise from the inability to tolerate emotions, since their goal is to soften or completely turn off experiences, and they successfully cope with this task. This can be chemical addiction (alcohol, sweets, drugs), behavioral addiction (work, relationships, sex, games), dependence on certain people, their opinions and approval. I know people who, at the first sign of “negative emotions,” rush to do constellations, meditation and other ways of cleansing themselves of them. Sometimes feel anger, fear, sadness, disgust, despair and powerlessness are not only normal, but important. This is a value that should be appreciated. If you are experiencing these emotions, then your psyche is working correctly. The big industry is fueled by the desire to get rid of “negative emotions” and the desire for relief. She is absolutely not interested in you considering all your emotions positive, having the right to exist and being able to experience them.3. Projecting your emotions onto others Emotions are contagious, this is a well-known fact. The stronger a person is, the greater his ability to convey his emotions to others. You can cause anxiety, anger, shame, fear, as well as inspire and share joy - this is the basis of social psychology and the psychology of influence. People are able to “transmit” their emotions to each other through projection, transference, violation of personal boundaries, separation of certain parts of themselves and identification with others. It may sound complicated, but in reality it is simple. Imagine that someone important to you accuses you of being angry. He matters to you, and you are hurt to hear this, you try to explain that you are not angry. He continues to claim that you are angry. And after a while you really start to get angry, and he solemnly declares: “See, I told you so.” Done - he conveyed to you his anger, which he himself cannot bear and survive. Instead of anger, there can be any other complex emotional state. Please note that the person is not asking you to share the emotion with him, he wants you to experience it for him. All emotional abuse and manipulation is based on this. We all do it, we all use each other as vessels for our unbearable emotions. But it’s one thing to do this unconsciously and regularly, another thing to do during therapy, for example. Where there is an opportunity to learn not only to dump it on another, but also to withstand yourself. I have described the three most common mechanisms for avoiding contact with emotions, although there are, of course, many more of them. I will consider my task completed if you think about it: emotions are a value, any emotions. There is no need to do anything with them. They arise, develop, reach a peak, fade and disappear - if we.