Meet Resentment! As a child, my great-grandmother always told me: “They carry water for the offended!” Not quite understanding what she was talking about, I vaguely guessed that it was probably not very good to be offended if people were overtaken by such a terrible punishment for it. But on the other hand, I loved to be offended, I immediately seemed so important to myself! Only then, for some reason, did it all end in tears and begging for forgiveness... 1. The behavior of other people is most often beyond our control, we can ask for something, we can force another person to do something, however, very often, people’s actions are not meet our expectations. Unjustified expectations, in turn, give rise to resentment, which then often turns into anger. If a person begins to throw it all out on those around him, his social connections deteriorate; if he keeps it to himself, then the body won’t thank you. Sometimes you want to get rid of resentment quickly, and even those people about whom they say “they like to be offended” are not easy to carry around all the time. These stones are in my soul. Therefore, a psychologist is often approached with just such a request - to help overcome an insult and begin to move on. Resentment is an emotion that arises in a person as a result of the occurrence of certain situations. But do we really know how to be offended from early childhood? Where does resentment even come from in us? There are different theories of human origins. Someone says that a person is born a blank slate on which life has yet to write its work, someone says that a child has behind him a whole system of his past actions, accumulated during his past lives. Psychologists believe that, for example, temperament is more of an innate property, but personality traits are the result of its interaction with society. And resentment is one of the social mechanisms that a child learns from childhood, adopting it from adults. The first, simplest emotion that has been rooted in us for centuries is anger. The child cries and screams, thus prompting mom or dad to do something. This is how he influences the world, informs the world in the person of his parents about his needs. Gradually, growing up and already becoming aware of himself, the child learns to control his mother’s behavior with the help of resentment, since he cannot influence the world of adults in any other way. We are all aged children. It seems that we have grown up, we know a lot, we can do a lot, but we are still offended if our trusting expectations turned out to be “deceived”... Further - more. There are people who, perhaps without realizing it, create situations in which they may be offended or think that they have been offended. Thus, they take the position of a victim, which subconsciously allows them to return to that very childhood state when a person did not yet bear any responsibility. Resentment becomes such a reliable refuge where you are always right. In the future, we are most often offended by those who are close to us, by people with whom we have some kind of connections - family, business, love, friendship. While we receive the most pleasant emotions from communicating with these people, we are very hurt if our expectations of these emotions are not met. At such moments, we can say that we are faced with ingratitude or misunderstanding. Following this not the most pleasant feeling comes a whole set of tearing emotions - disappointment, self-pity, anger, desire for revenge. Thus, resentment, leading to other negative feelings, absorbs a lot of energy, making happiness impossible in principle. 2. Resentment actually plays an important role in human relationships. The feelings experienced by a person are an indicator that something is happening in our “life” system. If we experience good, kind feelings, the system is established; if we experience negative ones, it means that somewhere in our relationship with the world or with ourselves there has been a failure. The feeling of resentment in us causes a corresponding feeling of guilt in the other person. The resentment-guilt connection allows people to see where in their relationships they need adjustment, more understanding and patience. These feelings point us to significant moments for another person..