“Our relationship began lightly and playfully. I allowed myself to be loved, and he was completely in love. I looked for meetings, called and wrote constantly. I felt his love for me and it filled me. I didn’t think much about him, but his love filled me. I felt so good! The mood is great! It feels like wings have grown behind your back. I wanted to do everything, I had a desire to dress beautifully, to dress up. I started smiling just like that. Enjoy passers-by, the sun, life. I felt so happy! There he is, a great job, friends, parents. And I really liked my condition. I was internally harmonious, stable and confident. Lord, how cool it is to feel like this! But... this state began to fade away. The man began to somehow move away. Write less, talk about love. We began to quarrel and between quarrels the number of days of silence began to increase. First 1 day, then 2.3... And now we don’t communicate for a week. I really wanted to meet him on holidays, I was waiting. And he somehow coldly said that he had plans and didn’t have the opportunity. I was offended. I felt bad. I wanted to send him away, but the memory of that fullness held me back.” A client came to me with this request. What happened? Why did the fullness give way to devastation, worries, suffering? I explained that she entered the relationship with her well-functioning counter-dependent defenses. There was not much involvement or interest in the relationship. But the man, with his attention and love, helped her destroy these defenses. My client flew into her childhood story. And there is a little girl, yearning for love and attention. That's it! The focus instantly shifts to the man, other areas of life become uninteresting. And the “surveillance system” for the man turns on. How did you write, how much, in what tone? And the man seems to move away as if by sin. Why does he begin to behave this way? Firstly, he feels that you are expecting something from him. He really loses his desire. He wants to move away from this expectation. Secondly, you begin to be offended because of this. And this manifests itself in every possible way - in tone, gaze, facial expression. Your state changes. You are no longer a proud Amazon, allowing yourself to be loved. You are an unhappy little girl in need of love and attention. You and the man change roles - first he waited, now you. What needs to be done? By and large, work with this girl. Living the pain of uselessness and loneliness. Through these experiences, she will slowly begin to grow up. Repressed pain will come out, which slowed down the process of psychological maturation. Pain must be pulled out of the unconscious into consciousness. This is the only way she will leave the inner world and all the scripts and children's programs will fall apart. But this is a long process. My long-term programs work well with this. And to start this process, you first need to restore counter-dependent defenses, return to your resource state, which will lead to unsticking. This is what we did in the lesson with my client. We succeeded in all this, and the result became visible to the naked eye. After the lesson, her condition leveled out, and she returned to Herself. And in the morning she received a message from a man, full of declarations of love. He wrote how bored he was, and the prolonged break of a week was already unbearable for him. What happened? On a subtle level, he felt that she had come unstuck and again became desirable and attractive to him. Of course, this is a temporary effect. It is very difficult to maintain this state of consciousness all the time. This is why comprehensive work aimed at psychological maturation is needed. Then the resource state will be constant within you. And for a man, you will always be desired and the best for him. I am always happy to help you become happier! With love, Irina Gavrilova Dempsey 2-month program, with the symbolic name “Emotional Dependency” will begin on January 31. It works directly with such requests. First, we will unstick ourselves and.