Usually, a shy child is not sure that he is good, is not used to having his own opinion, and is not able to defend himself and his interests. This is a child with impaired trust in the world and a sense of security, which affects his ability to build contact with the environment. Such a child requires much more time than other children to make contact and establish relationships that are safe for him. Reasons for the appearance of shyness in childhood Biological predisposition. Some children are naturally more sensitive to criticism and negative communication situations. Often the parents of such children are also unsure of themselves. A child can copy the parent’s model of behavior. Stressful, traumatic events in the child’s life, a violation of the sense of security: public critical evaluation, ridicule of the child - as a result, he may form the impression of himself as a clumsy, ugly, bad and unworthy person; significant life changes - moving, moving to a new kindergarten, serious problems in the family; rejection by a person important to him or a group of children - with shy behavior he is trying to protect himself from new trauma. The nature of communication in the family. Parents, criticizing the child, place inflated demands and expectations on him, and at the same time, the relationship is devoid of warmth and acceptance. Early and therefore painful separation from the mother can cause increased sensitivity and dependence of the child on the emotional state of people around him. Children under three years of age are often very attached to their mother. It is difficult for them to contact the outside world, especially if their mother is not around. Forms of shyness Refusal to make new acquaintances, visit new places, communicate with new people; long period of adaptation to an unfamiliar environment; difficulties in making contact; quiet voice; active resistance to being the center of attention; absence or very limited number of friends; difficulties in defending your interests; frequent embarrassment, guilt, fearfulness, resentment. It is important for parents to know: - by criticizing and ridiculing a child, you deprive him of self-confidence, instill in him the conviction that the way he is, he is not pleasing to you, and the world around him will treat him with hostility; - if you demand complete obedience from a child, then he will not have his own will, desires and opinions; - serious punishments for mistakes and mistakes can also lead to the child refusing new activities, fearing make a mistake; - if you often shame your child, make him guilty, push him to be active, ignoring his fears, neglecting his sense of his own insecurity, then shyness will only intensify; - a ban on aggression when the child does not agree with something or intends to protect oneself will also increase shyness. Only a child who is convinced that he can defend himself and his interests in any environment and in any company can be brave and active. How to help a shy child? A shy child needs to be given time to take a closer look, to understand the laws that apply in a new situation, since he adapts slowly. To calm down and begin to act, he needs to make sure that the environment and people are safe. It is useless to rush a timid child - the protective mechanisms of the psyche are triggered, and he withdraws even more and withdraws into himself. Be patient and give the child time to get used to the new environment. It is worth warning the child in advance about a change of environment or a new event for him, describe in advance the essence of the upcoming events, tell him about familiar and unfamiliar people he may meet. You cannot insist that the child do something that he is afraid of, for example, performing at a matinee, playing with children, etc. You should not push the child to contact new people, much less leave him alone in an unfamiliar environment. If possible, you should take.