- My mother loves my friends, but does not love me. It has always been this way. This hurts me,” the young woman began her story. “How does this happen?” “Mom was always unhappy with me. I have always felt this dissatisfaction. She swore at me for every little thing. She reproached me, even called me names. It was all my fault. - It was in your childhood. And now? - Now I live separately. After school I entered a university and went to live in a dormitory. It was difficult for me to get along with my roommates, but I didn’t want to live with my mother. I rarely came home to my mother. She greeted me joyfully, and I relaxed from the warmth of home. She believed that everything had changed, but while listening to me, she began to criticize and express her opinion. I got ready and left in tears. Now I communicate more often by phone, it’s easier. - You said that your mother loves your friends, but does not love you. Where does this conclusion come from? - As a child, neighbors and school friends came. She smiled at them and spoke to them kindly. She treated me to sweets. When I became a student, I came with friends who were from out of town. They couldn't go home often. Mom greeted them warmly and kindly. They told me: “How lucky you are to have your mother. She’s so good to you.” And I held back the lump in my throat. I couldn’t tell them that my mother was different with me. “I understand you.” What do you want now? - Why is she doing this? - Because she doesn’t care about your friends. She doesn’t love them, but shows her good manners. You must be friendly with guests. Tell me, was your mother concerned about the lives of your friends? Or just to greet them warmly, to show that she is a hospitable hostess? What do you think? - I didn’t think about my friends. I didn't ask about them. - She was indifferent to their fate. Do you agree? - Probably so, but she was friendly to them. - You are part of your mother, her product. So she wanted her part to be perfect. For this I chose the path of punishment rather than encouragement. This parental misconception occurs quite often. - Are you saying that she loved me? Did you love so cruelly? I still cry, remembering my childhood. - Yes, that’s how I loved it. That's the only way she could do it. - I can’t believe that they love a child so much, it’s more likely that she didn’t love her than she loved her. - I suggest you check this out. We carried out an arrangement in which the field showed the loving position of the mother towards her daughter and the opposition of the daughter, her reluctance to see her mother. For the young woman it was a revelation. She was always convinced that her mother did not love her. “You have the opportunity to work with your soul, to tell your mother how bad it was for you then and now.” Bottom line. The young woman allowed herself to express to her mother everything that she had been holding in her soul for a long time. She felt better. She was able to look at her mother. And this is already good for both of them. Dear parents! Ask yourself the question: “How many times a day do I scold my child, and how many times do I praise him?” The answer to this question can explain to you the reasons for a child’s bad behavior. A selection of articles on this topic© All rights reserved. Reprinting an article or fragment is possible only with a link to this site and attribution. My books from the “Popular Psychology” series are for you, my readers.