The family waited for a long time for the pediatrician, when he came in, the child took his hand, pointed to the clock and said: “This is the clock”... - already as children we know how to hide our indignation, while simultaneously hinting at him.Have you ever, after a seemingly calm conversation with someone, felt depressed and felt a sense of guilt that came from out of nowhere? If so, you may have been dealing with a passive aggressor. Such people do not openly engage in conflict, hide their feelings, are sarcastic, sullen or “seemingly” offended, refuse to discuss the problem, and when asked directly: “What happened?” they will answer: “Okay,” but from their tone it will be clear that this is far from true. In fact, almost every one of us can react passive-aggressively. How can you recognize passive aggression? A person is playing the silent game with you, although you are open to dialogue. You are being gaslighted, making you feel that you are not yourself: “It’s just your imagination.” Opponent laughs inappropriately, makes fun of situations that are clearly painful and unpleasant for him or you. You are periodically briefly reminded of old grievances, even if the conflict has already been resolved. You are addressed with double messages where facial expressions and gestures do not coincide with the words: “Come visit again” - voice , “I wouldn’t see you for another 100 years” - facial expression + closed poses. How to resist a passive aggressor? Try to bring him to light with direct questions: “What happened?”, “For what purpose are you saying this, what exactly do you want?” , “It seemed to me that you were offended by me, is that so?” State your feelings, try to clarify the speaker’s feelings and detail the situation. If this fails, it is better to act in accordance with your feeling of the situation, and not with where the passive aggressor is leading you with his manipulations. What to do if you recognize yourself as a passive aggressor? Recognize it and analyze in what situations you can behave this way. Talk openly about feelings (for this it is important to be able to recognize them), resolve the conflict constructively, on the spot, without avoiding it. Resolve get angry at yourself, allow yourself to be “bad.” Train the expression of emotions (negative and positive): laugh openly and loudly, without holding back your impulse; allow the body to move if it is tuned to a dynamic tune; beat a pillow/punching bag during anger, clearly imagining who it is addressed to; talk about what worries you or doesn’t suit you. Healthy communication and competent communication to you!