From the author: How is it that some couples live happily ever after in marriage, while others get divorced? What happens that ultimately leads to the breakdown of the family? Before getting a divorce, two people meet and decide to live together and start a family. Ideally, these are two happy people who are happy to live separately, they are happy and self-sufficient, and it is even better and more pleasant for them to live together and be close, to be in a relationship with each other. In most cases, spouses find each other according to the so-called “ life scenarios” - the relationship between parents in their childhood and the parents’ attitude towards them leaves a deep imprint on the child’s psyche, and they consciously or unconsciously look for a person with whom they will build similar relationships in their adult life, even if they firmly decided “not to repeat the experience parents." Even before they meet, both parties have a lot of expectations from their partner, who will have to fill the gap inside that was not filled by their parents. Spouses find each other like a key to a lock or like two halves of the same puzzle. And in the beginning, they can be quite happy from the fact of such a coincidence. However, over time, disappointment and dissatisfaction from the fact that expectations are not realized and not fulfilled grows and reaches its critical point. And since the spouse was chosen precisely in the likeness of the parent, then in fact he simply is not able to give what the parent could not give. Of course, there are such unions that have a “therapeutic” effect on each of the spouses, where both can talk about your feelings, expectations, ask or even demand something for yourself, while respecting your partner, listening and understanding him and caring for your loved one in the way that is important to your loved one, and not to yourself. But this rarely happens. And when mutual discontent grows in a couple, the thought may come to the mind of each spouse that “all men/women are the same…” or “I am not made for a family.” And then the decision to divorce is made. Unfortunately, this is also often determined by the “life scenario”. Sometimes people remarry with the hope that “things will be different here.” But since the initial motive for entering into a relationship has not changed, but remains based on the childish hope of getting from marriage what they did not receive in childhood, everything repeats itself over and over again. What kind of way out can there be here, or is marriage an obviously doomed enterprise? There is only one way out: to understand your expectations from your partner, separate and work through unfinished relationships and expectations from your childhood in order to be able to truly see your partner, listen to him and understand him. I see couples, marital psychotherapy, or personal therapy for each spouse as the best option. As a compromise: our own personal psychotherapy. After all, we have one life, and wasting it on disappointments and empty hopes is very unfair. Moreover, a relationship with another person can give a lot of beautiful things that you cannot get alone, enrich and fill your life, making it even happier!