From the author: This is one of the notes in response to letters from visitors to the Detkino.ru website. I hope that it will also be of interest to visitors to this site. I have one child, he is 2 years and 2 months old. Doesn't go to kindergarten yet. During walks, games, visits, meeting non-aggressive, peace-loving children, my son is the same - calm, observes, imitates, interacts. When a bully child comes across, my son does not pass the bully test: he shrinks and backs away, which further provokes the aggressor. She doesn't cry, but I see that she is worried. At home, before going to bed, he remembers the bad boy (which means he worries, keeps it to himself) I REALLY WANT TO HELP MY SON learn to defend himself, in response to a “meow” towards the mouse, answer: “Aw!” I realize that this situation is a consequence of some of my distortions in raising my son, but it is very difficult to analyze myself. How to change this state of affairs? How should a mother be in relation to her little son, so that he is probably more confident and courageous? The son is still a baby, but his peers are so different: you swing a dustpan at one while playing in the sandbox, and you immediately get hit on the head with a bucket; If you accidentally touch someone else's Easter cake, he will immediately scold you in his childish gibberish language. I would also be grateful if you recommend good literature on this issue. (Elena, St. Petersburg) Hello, Elena! Thank you for the question. If I understand you correctly, you are concerned about your son’s behavior on the playground when he encounters childish aggression and you ask what a mother should be like so that her son becomes more confident and brave in such situations? It’s joyful when you note that that the parent is aware of his real degree of influence on the child, is aware of his daily contribution to how the child develops, is aware that the child reflects what he sees in the family.. Your question itself speaks for itself (“what kind of mother should be for her son to became more confident..?") It seems to me that this speaks of you as a fairly deeply aware parent who thinks. But I don’t really understand why the question relates only to the mother... You indicated in the additional information that the family is complete, but this feeling that dad is not present in the family... Is my feeling correct? If yes, what is the reason for this? (“I have a child..”, “What should I do..?”) What you write about (how to teach a boy to overcome difficulties, including conflict situations) is precisely laid down in the relationship between a son and a father. Somehow in the relationship between them it happens by itself, it is read. Men's activities, games of an overcoming nature are important... But how much this fits in with real opportunities to spend time with my father, I don’t know. You know this better. I heard that you compare your son with other children (“My son is still a baby, but his peers are so different...”) Why? Each family has its own characteristics of communication, relationships, degree of conflict... What is the point of comparison in general? For me, this means that there are ideas about how a boy should be in the situations described, and this does not coincide with how the boy reacts in reality. In my opinion, the boy’s reaction to childhood aggression is quite natural and adequate (considering his age). For me, this means that not everyone in the child is completely accepted as is. It seemed to me that behind your words there is such an anxious parent who wants to prepare their child in advance for everything bad that can happen in his life... I had an assumption that the person you indicated in the add. Information diagnosis (“heart murmur”, “vice without threat to life”) may be associated with this anxiety, may be associated with the fear of losing the child and an increased desire to protect him from everything. Elena, I actually believe that the desire to protect the life of a child is a normal and natural desire. It seemed to me that in your words there is a lot of anxiety and an increased desire to help a 2-year-old child resist aggression and conflicts... If I understood you correctly, you would like the child not to be constrained, but