Let's analyze the main shortcomings and mistakes of parents using the example of appeals to a psychologist to diagnose children, study the reasons that led to certain behavioral reactions that interfere with their full development and interaction with others: 1. Child's guilt Parents often say: “I have problems with my child, do something with him, I don’t have the strength.” In such conversations, it becomes clear that parents sincerely believe and believe that they have nothing to do with it. It is due to strange circumstances that the son or daughter became like this (somehow not like this). Therefore, when explaining the need to work in parallel with both the child and the parents (especially with the parent who, with a phrase or action, “set into motion” the negative scenario), and in Subsequently, at joint meetings, you receive the same urgent and convincing answer: “Everything is fine with me, what do I have to do with it?!” In this regard, performance is expected from children and psychologists. After working in the office, the child returns to the same conditions of the erroneous parenting style and a “powerful rollback” occurs. And mom or dad say: “If I ever decide to, I’ll sign up,” but this doesn’t happen.2. Overprotection is observed in mothers with the “good girl” syndrome, who had a deficit of love and attention in childhood, after which both a conscious and unconscious choice was formed: “Everything will be the opposite with my child.” In psychology it is called an anti-script. Unfortunately, this type of education is not productive. On the contrary, with this interaction with the child, the future will return such a woman back to childhood, but instead of the parent, the already matured child will repeat the past, demanding more and more from the parent and devaluing him at the same time. As a result, a “good girl” will feel a lack of attention and love from her son or daughter, because the most important desire of children is: “I dream of quickly passing the Unified State Exam and leaving the city, enrolling in a university, so as not to communicate with my mother.” 3. Deprivation of independence Everything is clear and understandable here, but the total control and authority of the parent is higher than the awareness of the mistake. Infantility, inability, lack of negative experience and a lesson learned from it in childhood absolutely always lead grown-up children to fears or obsessive thoughts that nothing will work out, or to rash, sometimes absurd, decisions that become reckless.4. Excess of circles and sections One of the most common mistakes of the last decade is, as they say, “reaching out to opportunities.” There are so many different clubs and schools that there is a temptation to give the child the best and in large quantities according to the principle: “I didn’t have it, but now I have such an opportunity.” As a result, children do not have time to play enough, walk around, or socialize, because their day is completely scheduled and already in elementary school they lose motivation for learning activities due to oversaturation with all kinds of activities. They want to play, for example, computer games. To be continued https://www.b17.ru/article/411707/Your psychologist, Katerina Agafonova