Now I dare to reason and put such a global thing as love into the norm. Real, and most importantly: healthy love. Which will bring energy and happiness, and not exhaust you with its pain and impossibility of implementation. My opinion may differ from yours. And if you want to engage in a civilized discussion, perhaps we can help each other see something new. All the same, the secrets of love cannot be comprehended, and once again it will never be superfluous to speculate about this wonderful feeling. Love is based on many factors. Alas, no one has yet figured out the full formula. But I know one essential element: This is how a person treats you. Does he show interest and respect in you? Does he strive to get to know you as a person and is he ready to take care of you? Doesn't it hurt you? And in other cases, what happens? I love you because you are indifferent to me, because you ignore me when I need you so much. I love you because you are destroying our family with alcohol addiction. I love you because you are in a fit of anger you can hit me. I love you because you belong to another woman, and I am in a second role for you, and you deceive and betray us all. Reading these sentences, what emotions do you experience? A feeling of surrealism, dissonance? How can this be? How can you love a person who, at best, doesn’t care about you, and at worst, deliberately makes things worse for you? No way. Love does not live in such conditions. Love requires reciprocity. Care and concern. On such a basis it will flourish. If this is not the case, she quickly dies. And if it seems to you that your love turned out to be especially tenacious and strong, then you are mistaken. It is no longer reverent and tender love, but its toxic mutation. Codependency (I don’t love, but I’m dependent) Projections (I love, but in fact not this specific real person, but someone else / or a fictitious image) Only love can push us into a tender attitude and sincere desire for a person. And love arises only in response to a good impulse from another person. And if you are drawn to a tyrant/narcissist/indifferent, then give yourself time to think. What pushes you to this? Love? No, it can’t be. Or maybe there’s no reason at all for wanting to be with this person..? Realizing that this is not love, but a disease, it is much easier to choose yourself. Your well-being and emotional comfort.