Lately I have been interested in the topic of aggression. I decided to explore it and share it with you. In everyday life, it is common to understand aggression as a kind of evil, violence, but if we look at the nature of aggression, we see that it is simply a movement forward. For example, you hit another person on the shoulder with your palm, causing pain - this is aggression, and if you stroke him on the head, this is also aggression. I would like to point out that aggression is a movement forward. I would like to record this idea. For example, from the point of view of Gestalt therapy, aggression is a kind of activity aimed at transforming the environment to meet needs. Aggression has been and will be as long as you are alive and as long as there are needs. Modality (positive or negative) is largely irrelevant. The power of aggression is equal to the desire for change. Now it becomes clear why some people manage to achieve their goals, while others endure and wait. Because there is little desire, little readiness for change. And another option, when there is an interest in something new, a taste of healthy aggression is caught. Let’s say you grew up in an environment where mutual jokes, nagging, complaints, harsh feedback, straightforwardness, standing up for one’s rightness, harsh, vulgar humor are the norm of relationships. If, when you come home, you exchange pleasantries in the usual form, nothing happens, everything is in the usual system. Suddenly you started going to psychotherapy and after a while you begin to notice that you don’t want to respond to barbs with barbs, and behind the anger and irritation you notice a large amount of tenderness for this person, which is difficult to show and somehow place within yourself. And behind the harsh feedback you notice the request “You are not enough for me, or please notice me, let me be myself next to you, I really want to be useful to you, take it from me, let’s do it together...”. When, instead of scolding, you suddenly say to a loved one: “I love you, I am grateful to you, you are important to me,” it would be normal to receive something like this reaction: “It’s unusual, but I’m very pleased, I need time to accept it.” But as a rule, you can hear in response: “What were you smoking there? Under whose influence are you saying this, what kind of snot are you making here.” The usual system of relationships suddenly becomes different; in response to such a powerful revelation, the other side begins to feel confused, anxious, and afraid. Now we need to do something about this and somehow move on with our lives. Because of the great fear of change, they will try to push you into the usual system of relationships, where there is swearing, banter, etc., because such relationships are understandable. It is possible to give up and get back on track if there is no regular psychotherapeutic support. Aggression arises at the moment when I enter someone else’s boundaries with something new, and those around me somehow have to adapt to this new thing. It is at this moment that aggression arises, which becomes a powerful impulse, a push that triggers the transformation of the environment. To the question “Do you need to get rid of aggression?” the answer, it seems to me, is obvious. It’s impossible to get rid of it, certainly during your lifetime)) By the way, love is also aggression! For example, at the moment of passion)))) or a gentle touch, a hug - this is all forward movement, invasion and change. I hope you have learned something new about aggression, there is something to think about and reconsider something in your life. Personally, it makes me feel better realizing that I am ready for change and love this process... For those who wanted, but put off or doubted, to sign up for a consultation with me, perhaps the time has come... To make an appointment, write in a personal message “I want a consultation” and we will find a convenient time for you. With love , Svetlana