From the author: Is it possible to save a relationship if a partner offers to remain friends, is it possible to continue a love relationship, is true friendship between a man and a woman possible in this case? In the first part, we looked at the relationship between a crisis in a relationship and a proposal to transfer it to a friendly level, as well as relationship scenarios in which this proposal clearly means the partner’s desire to end your relationship. Continuing the conversation, let's look at what dictated the partner's offer to remain friends. Why does the partner offer to remain friends, and not completely end the relationship? Unfortunately, such a proposal does not always mean an intention to be friends. It is possible that your lover became faint-hearted and did not find enough strength in himself to tell you honestly that everything is over between you. This behavior is dictated by a feeling of guilt towards you, the already former participant in the relationship and the desire to smooth out internal discomfort. So to speak, to save face in front of yourself - to remain with a good opinion of yourself. In this way, your partner will gradually accustom you to the idea that you are not together, making the breakup less painful for you. This “wise and noble” way of solving a problem helps him/her to avoid feeling guilty in front of you. If friendship is more than love, Of course, it also happens that a man and a woman come together due to common life interests, views, and the same worldview. The priority here may be passion for an idea, the desire to achieve a common goal. This is especially true for people who devote themselves to a career or creativity. And in this case, love relationships can distract such a person from the dominant sphere and create unnecessary tension in the couple. This is precisely what can cause a partner to want to break off a love relationship, but leave the opportunity to communicate with a like-minded person and suggest: “Let’s remain friends.” Here you need to understand that the person wants to put an end to the love relationship. Despite the fact that he sincerely wants to continue communicating with you, all attempts to get closer to a distance greater than a friend will be stopped. This will be perceived by him as an obstacle to achieving his goals and a restriction of freedoms. If fear of intimacy stops you, there is another situation in which your lover unexpectedly offers to remain friends when everything seemed to be going well for you at first. It is at this moment, when the relationship becomes more intimate (in the emotional, not the physical sense) or the partner needs to take on obligations, he/she suggests distancing themselves somewhat - communicating simply as friends. However, without implying separation. This is due to the fact that due to his fears, complexes, and negative experiences, the partner, on the one hand, is afraid to enter into a long-term close relationship. But on the other hand, he wants and really needs such a relationship. Such ambivalence of your partner’s needs can lead your relationship into a “closer-further” game. This means that whenever you get emotionally close to your partner, he/she will show cooling . However, as soon as you agree to just friendship, your partner will accuse you of not loving him/her enough. And if your behavior is not very convincing, in the opinion of your partner, then he/she will prefer to break it off. Although for some time, you may be able to stay in such a relationship. Here, a feature of friendship between a man and a woman will be the confusion of the concepts themselves in these relationships. You will be considered a "friend", but a very close one. So close that sometimes you will wake up in the same bed. This behavior is due to the deep-seated problems of the partner associated with a basic distrust of the world. It is formed in early childhood as a result of parental education. It is a violation in the development of relations between the child and parents that entails the consequences thata grown child in adulthood avoids relationships with people because he does not have the appropriate experience of being in them. This is the only case when a partner has a need for close relationships. However, one’s own fear stops his/her desire for close relationships and makes it almost impossible for partners to build truly trusting and long-term relationships. If the third is a wheel Perhaps the most unenviable situation is if you find yourself in a love triangle. When a guy and a girl enter into a love relationship, and then it turns out that the beloved is married or simply has an affair. Moreover, these other relationships could have appeared both before you met and after that. The key point is the fact that the partner gives priority to other relationships. Such cheaters unknowingly enter into difficult relationships in order to feed their self-worth through feelings of suffering, jealousy, guilt, remorse and forgiveness. In this way, a person compensates for his inability to build a full-fledged relationship as a couple. The fact of another relationship that has surfaced can affect the further development of events in different ways. Fearing the destruction of his real relationship, he/she may try to transfer yours into a simply friendly format. The fact is that as long as you did not claim exclusive rights to him/her, your partner could afford a relationship with you. As soon as this begins to threaten the real relationship, the partner will make an attempt to move you away to a safe distance. And the proposal - let's remain friends - is precisely a signal that you are violating his/her comfort zone. They make it clear to you that you actually do not have any exclusive rights to him/her. In this case, if there is a love relationship, it will be exclusively “friendship”. In another version, with a love triangle, he/she, on the contrary, wants to continue a close relationship with you, but without compromising the present one. This is especially expressed in the classic triangle “husband-wife-husband’s mistress.” The man himself is happy with everything in this situation, and he does not intend to change anything. And in order to smooth out this awkward moment - about his double life, he can offer to remain friends. In this case, your role in his life is emphasized, where you are given an honorable second place after your wife. Relationships in a love triangle are the topic of a separate article. In the context of today topics, it is important for us to consider this situation from the point of view of understanding the proposal received from the partner: “Let’s remain friends.” Such a proposal in this situation means that you are being offered to deliberately enter into a love triangle. Friendship between a man and a woman in such a triangle has its own nuances. By calling you a “friend,” your partner will, nevertheless, mean you as a “lover.” Remember that in such a triangle, in fact, all participants suffer, and the possibility of finding personal and family happiness is quite doubtful for you. What to do, if you still take a risk and agree to friendship? Before agreeing to such friendship, you should pay attention to an important nuance in this situation. Try to determine for yourself: What do I want from this relationship? What feelings do I have for my partner? Will you be able to communicate with your partner without having sexual desires for him/her? Are you sure that you will not be jealous of your partner? his/her new chosen one? You should pay attention to the fact that you have opposite needs in this relationship - you want a love relationship and strive for it, and your partner does not want love with you and will avoid it. Therefore, you will not be able to build normal relationships, even just friendly ones. What will happen to you in such a friendship? You will constantly prove your worth as a loved one. Tormented by questions: What's wrong with me? Why am I not suitable? Why doesn't she/he want to be with me? Such friendship will be accompanied by difficult inner experiences. Having agreed to the proposal -!