IS THIS REALLY THE ONE? 3 YEAR OLD CRISIS? E.V. Plotnikova, educational psychologist, KGKOU Orphanage 6, services for working with foster families. Is your child in the maturing stage between two and three years old? You see his independence: he walks, runs and talks... You can entrust and trust him with a lot. Your demands are increasing. He helps you in many ways. And these endless “I myself!” and why?". And suddenly... Something happens to your baby. His behavior changes right before our eyes. And most importantly - for the worse. It's like someone replaced your pet. It feels like instead of a soft, affectionate, compliant, and pliable child, someone handed you a stubborn, harmful, capricious creature. Sharp whims appeared on every occasion. Let's go for a walk. Will not go. Go have lunch. Don't want. Let's listen to a fairy tale. I won't. In the store he fell on the floor and kicked his feet. And so on and so forth... The reasons for the emergence of negativism, stubbornness, self-will and other symptoms in behavior are explained by the fact that the child begins to realize that he is an independent person and demonstrates his own will. Every child must necessarily go through manifestations of a psychological crisis that allow him to advance to the next stage of development. The state of a psychological crisis can be compared to the onset of a sudden illness, when negative symptoms appear, subsequently disappear and the child recovers. A crisis occurs in every person, but the degree of its negative manifestation depends on the individual qualities of mental characteristics. At 3 years old, children expect adults to recognize independence and independence. The child wants to be asked for his opinion, to be consulted. The child strives to make decisions himself. And the more decisions a child makes and makes mistakes when deciding them, the faster he will learn to interact with others. What should parents do? I will recommend several ways for parents to react and behave. And so, before turning to the child, submit your requests in the form of a proposal and giving the child a choice. Shall we go for a walk or will you play? Will you eat or watch TV? etc. If a child is “overwhelmed” by negativity and resists your proposal, you can pause, wait a while for the baby to make a decision. Calmly wait out the hysteria and then explain to him how to behave correctly. The use of games, humor and a sharp transfer of the child’s attention to another object is undoubtedly helps to overcome crisis moments more calmly. The child does not realize what is happening to him and has little control over his behavior. Children should be praised for good behavior and encouraged to be independent. He needs your support. You, adults, must respect the child’s opinion and his desire for independence. There is no need to do for a child what he can do himself. Do not criticize the baby: “Why did you scream? people are looking at you..." It would be more effective: “I’m sorry that you couldn’t restrain yourself...” or “I’m so upset...”. It is the voicing of our feelings that teaches a child to express his emotions and understand them. Thus, it is very important for adults to notice and understand the signs of this psychological crisis in time. And the best thing is that soon you will see your affectionate, calm baby again..