The limitless possibilities of human thinking are amazing. It was thanks to his thinking that man introduced many phenomena that end in the Russian language with “tsiya” (industrialization, globalization, informatization, mechanization, etc.). Man has increased his life expectancy. Improved its quality. And most of all, paradoxically, I have not even come close to finding a remedy (for mass use) for everyday conflicts, quarrels, grievances, misunderstandings in the process of communication between people. From one particular point of view, this is due to the orientation of human communications. More precisely, with the inconsistent orientation of his communication skills. Let's think about what human communication can be oriented towards. On thoughts. This is a real “disease” of humanity since the launch of social networks. I think. I think. My opinion is... What do you think about it? I need to think about this. How could you think that. Why do you think so. Thoughts, thoughts and more thoughts. Which, in communication, turn into words. Which find themselves in the maximum focus of opponents’ attention in almost any dialogue. But words do NOT determine people's decisions. They are only an attempt to reflect what is deeper...On the Body. The disease is much smaller in scale. It’s more likely not a disease, but some kind of obstacle in communication. It manifests itself in the fact that a person focuses on the bodily patterns of the interlocutor, as if on a kind of mirror of the soul. It sounds like this. You are closed. You're not looking at me. You are not listening to me. Well, why are you standing there like an idol? Show me at least some interest...Also a kind of paradox. On the one hand, modern man poorly knows how to use his body. On the other hand, he constantly involves him in communication. On emotions. This is actually a song. Most people, when asked to define a particular emotion, fall into a visual stupor. And at the same time, their communication is constantly tied to the exchange of emotions. People constantly ask about another person's emotional state. They make their own assumptions about this state. They question the appropriateness of a particular emotional state. They do not trust the intensity of their opponent’s experiences. They actively give advice on how to experience this or that emotion. Don’t get angry. Stop worrying (yes, calm down!), everything is fine. Don't criticize me. I'm bored with you. Why are you crying? Are you angry?!!! It’s me who needs to be angry in this situation... On desires. In principle, it is a useful direction of communication that helps opponents or partners understand what the other person wants at that very moment. True, one must always remember that a person’s desires differ from needs quantitatively. And desires can be limitless, unrealistic and unreasonable. And actual need-based communication. That communication that allows you to understand what motivates or demotivates a person. What makes him fall into stress, depression, enjoy life, experience the feeling of “being on the crest of success,” and feel the fullness of life. This communication is built on open dialogue between people, on reflection, empathy and trust. Potentially, such communication promises unlimited opportunities for interaction and joint movement towards realizing each other’s needs. And then a logical question arises - to what extent are people able to read the needs of themselves and those around them. Let's start with something simpler - with the needs of others. I offer you a small sketch from which you need to extract the needs of both participants in the dialogue. Moreover, it is necessary to identify the needs at each of the 4 levels of dialogue. Separately for Sasha and Masha. Feel free to post your options in the comments. Sasha and Masha. A case on reading the needs of other people. Sasha and Masha have been together for two years. Both returned home a little later than usual today. While Masha washed her face and took off her makeup, Sasha quickly washed his hands, heated up dinner, poured himself some tea and began to eat. As soon as Masha entered: