From the author: The idea itself is not new and banal... BUT it occurs so often that it’s definitely worth writing. Following the results of one of the “employee development” trainings, this note appeared... This material can be successfully used in business, at work, in communication with colleagues, with friends, with loved ones, with a wife/husband... Very often in communication The word “BUT” scratches my ears in feedback, in disputes, in sales... Consider an example: (Manager) - I think that you need to praise your employees more. (Sergey Goglev) - Yes, praising is useful, but now I will talk about the benefits of criticism. The construction of the phrase “YES, BUT” is essentially a provocation. At first, the interlocutor is pleased that his opinion is agreed with. But then comes the deadly phrase “but,” which devalues ​​all solidarity. This approach often provokes aggression and dissatisfaction on the part of the interlocutor, because they decided to challenge his opinion. Therefore, the best option would be to replace “but” with the phrase “yes, and at the same time” or “that’s why,” and sometimes just “and” Compare: (Manager) - I think that we need to praise our employees more. (Sergey Goglev) - Yes, praising is useful, and in addition I will talk about the benefits of criticism. more beautiful version: - Yes, you know how to praise, that’s why now I’ll tell you about the benefits of criticism. or: - Of course, praise is important, while criticism has a number of important advantages. And so on. Experiment with this design and notice that people are more willing to listen to your arguments. Precisely because you do not argue, but complement their opinion.