Depression is a significant decrease in mood, with a predominance of negative emotions over positive ones during the day (sadness, guilt, anger, irritation) without a clear connection with a traumatic event. (If symptoms of depression appear in response to loss, then we are dealing with grief, which is a different condition.) Unfortunately, a person very often finds himself “imprisoned”, alone with his depression, despite the fact that he has family and close people next to him. How does this happen? The fact is that depression, as a condition, often generates a large number of defenses and most often occurs after stress. That is why it seems to all of us that it will quickly pass on its own. We often tend not to recognize this condition of ours, calling it any other name and trying to escape from it into various active activities. Very often, depression is not identified either by the person himself or his family members for a very long time. It is especially difficult for us to notice depression in children, and most often in those who have problematic learning and behavior at school as a symptom. Sometimes we don’t identify depression in ourselves and our loved ones until the person falls into clinical depression, which can end very badly. Often, a depressed family member is looked at as “sick” and asked to “get busy”, this is especially true for children and adolescents, or women, where the family structure is hierarchical, where the man is busy with “business” and provides for the family, and the woman, as they say, “ on the farm." We often devalue feelings and experiences, as well as the state of a loved one, when it seems to us that he does not have any special problems and difficulties, as well as reasons for sadness and in general, “He is doing this out of idleness.” Unfortunately, it is very common for men to have depressive episodes. But in our culture, it is not customary for a man to feel his feelings and experiences, much less talk about them with loved ones. Because "He's a strong man." Because of this, it is in men that depression often occurs unnoticed and develops into clinical symptoms. There are also frequent cases when men try to escape from depression with alcohol or soft drugs, not fully realizing the exact state they are in. Unfortunately, alcohol and drugs do not alleviate, but rather worsen, the clinical picture of depression. Often, when working with families, I observe depression at the same time in the mother and in the child or teenager, when help is needed for both of them at the same time. Or for parents, each individually and for the child at the same time. In this situation, people present some minor symptom, for example, poor academic performance in a child, although each of them requires deeper help of a different kind. It is very important to learn to see the real state of yourself and your loved ones. Do not try to cheer up a sad person or try to “kick yourself out” of depression with increased activity. Start talking with each other about what is happening from the point of view of describing the internal state, and not external factors (For example, talk not about what happened at school, at work, but about how a person has been feeling lately). How to recognize depression in yourself and others? - the predominance of negative emotions over positive ones during the day - a critical decrease in activity - a decrease in interest in activities that previously usually brought pleasure - a decrease in interest in life, a decrease in interests and needs - a lack of reactions to events or activities, which normally cause this reaction - a change in the picture of the future (pictured as unpleasant and joyless) - difficulty in the morning - noticeable psychomotor retardation - decreased appetite (in children), appetite and libido in adults If three or more signs occur, then most likely you have a depressive episode. Depression in the family most often occurs in response to stressful events during a family crisis, such as: - divorce - separation of adolescents - children leaving home - the birth of a child (maybe: 8-963-524-5774