From the author: Prepared for the magazine "Planet Health". Why does a person wish? How to turn New Year's magic into a psychological technique? What can you do to make your wishes come true? Every New Year, people gather in front of the TV, near the radio, or simply sit down around the clock so that they have time to make a wish at the last minute of the passing year. The complexity of the "ritual" varies. During the chime, someone tries to imagine the moment of fulfillment of a wish in all its colors, someone is in a hurry to write down its wording on a piece of paper, burn it, stir the ashes in a glass of champagne and drink it with the first toast of the new year. Surprisingly, many wishes made in this way come true: some literally, and some in the most unpredictable way. What is the secret of New Year's wishes? The most cherished French novelist Anatole France wrote: “Dreams give the world interest and meaning. Dreams, if they are consistent and reasonable, become even more beautiful when they create the real world in their own image.” Everything that has been said can be attributed to desires. Psychologists say that the main driving force in human life is motives that manifest themselves in the form of a desire to achieve a goal. If goals are lost from sight or seem unattainable, a person feels as if “not alive.” Rituals for making a wish come true are often associated with turning points of the calendar: the end of a calendar year or the next year of a person’s life. These days, people from century to century took stock of their lives and looked for new guidelines, on the basis of which they made wishes. How to correctly formulate a desire in order to facilitate its implementation? Step one. Tomorrow is New Year's Eve or your birthday and you have to make a wish. If this is not the case, practice in advance. Think about what you want? Perhaps a year ago you already made a wish. Has it come true? Did it bring you satisfaction? What else important happened over the past year: what were you able to achieve? What goals are still relevant today? What should happen in the next month, season, year? On the eve of the holiday, different desires come to mind: material (plant pots for your favorite violets or a car) and intangible (love of loved ones or peace in the world); urgent (lose n kilograms of weight before summer vacation) and indefinite (see Paris). Make a list. Let it contain pleasant little things and serious plans, specific material things and spiritual needs. In many countries, people write entire wish lists at Christmas, and a year later they check which ones have come true. But our traditions are such that you have to choose the most important thing - highlight it on the list. Once you have decided on the direction of the path, it is important to understand the wording. Step two. Many desires seem unattainable to us due to incorrect formulation of the essence of the desire or the deadline for its fulfillment. For example, a person thinks that he wants to earn a lot of money, but in fact it is important for him to be able to go to the theater once a month. Or someone decided that they want to see Paris in the spring and are worried that they won’t let them go on vacation, forgetting that there will be another spring. Think about why you want what you want. What is more important to you: getting an apartment or being able to be alone with yourself? To be healthy or to be able to visit grandchildren more often? Try to isolate the essence of each of the desires on your list, not forgetting about the chosen desire. What purposes and meanings does it serve? Step three. Try to avoid the particle “not” in the formulation of desire. By making a wish during a bright holiday, you orient the unconscious towards achieving your goal. But it ignores all sorts of “not”, “if” and other complex constructions. Practice reframing your goals. For example, “don't be late for meetings” is equivalent to “arrive on time” or “become punctual.” What synonyms can you come up with for “don’t get fat”, “don’t yell at children”, “don’t be shy in front of your boss”? If on your listthere are “non-desires”, rewrite them. Step four. Purpose makes us act. No matter how much we would like our wish to come true by itself, we and our environment will have to take some steps to achieve this goal. Imagine what this path could be like? Think about it, do you know people in whose lives such a desire has come true? What did they do for this? Who helped them? What obstacles did they encounter along the way and how did they overcome them? Think, maybe some of their actions are available to you? Imagine what will happen if you do this or that action. If you liked the imaginary result, why not try to repeat it in reality. Step five, but not the last. And finally, the most magical thing about the holiday is the ritual. In any ritual, the experiences and symbols used are important. In our case, the first component is faith in the fulfillment of desires and participation in the holiday. Rituals performed best among like-minded people, which may be your friends and family, work best. What symbols are used on New Year's or birthdays? First, you need to indicate the desire itself: by writing it down on paper, saying it silently or out loud, or describing the result in detail. Secondly, you need a symbol of the will to achieve the goal. In traditional rituals this is fire. You can, as is customary, burn the sheet of paper, imagining how the fire fills you with determination; blow out the candle, dissolving the flame in desire, or leave it to burn out on its own, transferring power to you. An even more effective method would be to imagine your path to making your desire come true - this is not difficult if you have already worked on the fourth point. The last important point is to let the desire into your life and hold it until the moment of fulfillment (that’s why they drink the ashes from the leaf with the desire). Here it is better to use an object that will be with you and remind you of your desire. One that will always be in sight is also suitable, for example, a figurine of the Eiffel Tower, which you dream of seeing in person. You can prepare a wish fulfillment envelope in advance - it is convenient to carry it with you in a book or weekly planner. During the ritual, place a wish symbol in it. Don't throw away your desires Not all desires are equally significant. Their relevance may change over time. Once you've made your wish list, don't leave it. Evaluate desires based on urgency, complexity of execution, subjective significance and material cost. You can add to the list and cross off wishes that have come true or that have lost relevance. A wish list isn't just useful for the holidays. It will help cope with psychological problems. When our lives are consumed by one goal, the achievement of which requires a long time and investment of resources without immediate return, it may seem that the efforts are in vain and life loses color. At such a moment, choose an easily achievable desire and fulfill it for yourself. The period of desire will help you navigate the relevance. Perhaps tickets to a performance that is only on during the current season should be given to yourself first. Fulfillment of a long-formulated desire is the simplest way to get pleasure. When we are upset, we forget about everything in the world, including our actual needs. A wish list will always remind you of what you want so that you don’t give in to compulsive behavior like stress eating, but truly please yourself. A deferred desire, which is easy to satisfy, but never got around to, will become an additional reward for a new achievement or will add enthusiasm for things that need to be done, but don’t want to: if I talk to my boss today, I’ll watch my favorite movie in the evening. Pragmatic friends often ask what to give as a gift. Now it will be easier for you to answer: you just need to choose one of the material desires that the donor could fulfill. The most important thing in working with desires is not to be afraid to want and move along the path of their fulfillment, even if these.