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Alice Miller’s book “The Drama of a Gifted Child” This book was published about 20 years ago. A. Miller worked as a psychoanalyst for 20 years, for a long time she was a member of the Swiss and International Psychoanalytic Associations. Her system of ideas and practices represents a unique synthesis of psychoanalysis and humanistic psychology. A. Miller’s book is not dedicated to gifted children and their parents in the traditional sense of the word “gifted”; it is addressed to all children and all parents. “Why should I read this book?” you might think, “after all, I can hardly afford a course of psychoanalysis, it’s expensive.” This is true, but the book will allow you to think seriously, analyze and better understand yourself and your own life, and look into the subconscious. And then you will be able to find an explanation for many of your feelings and actions. Along with psychotherapy, there is psychological culture. This book allows you to learn something to be more culturally psychological. Knowing is already a lot. If I now become aware of childhood drama, I will do everything possible to ensure that my child grows up free and can experience emotions and feelings without suppressing them. “The drama of a gifted child is that his behavior, his experiences and his life itself may turn out to be (and, as a rule, actually turn out to be) just a means of serving certain needs of his parents. The child’s own life as such becomes exclusively “a life for...”.” For his correct behavior, he receives “love,” “praise,” “care,” and “attention” from his parents. At the same time, he loses his own life, his experiences - he loses himself. A. Miller's book takes us back to childhood. The main goal of such a return is the experience and awareness of those feelings that at one time were denied the right to life. We cannot change our past, but we can change ourselves, “restore” our Self and regain lost internal integrity. We can do this by carefully analyzing the events of the past preserved in our memory and gaining a deeper understanding of them. It's hard and unpleasant. But in return we receive liberation. Many people are driven by childhood memories, feelings and needs, lying deep in the unconscious, mental traumas that determine almost all their actions, and this will be so until the unconscious becomes conscious. In situations where people cannot live up to ideal ideas of what they should be, they are tormented by fears, feelings of guilt and shame, severe depression and loss of meaning in life. A. Miller characterizes this “as a tragic loss of one’s own self (or self-alienation). The origins of these phenomena lie in distant childhood.” When describing the psychological atmosphere inherent in the childhood of such people, A. Miller is guided by the following postulates: 1. From the very beginning, the child wants to be respected and taken seriously for who he is.3. The child is able to dissolve his emotional symbiosis with his mother and gradually begin an independent existence only if there is an atmosphere of respect and acceptance of his feelings by the parents.4. Prerequisites for the healthy development of a child can only arise if his parents themselves grew up in a healthy atmosphere. Then he has a feeling of security that can generate self-confidence.5. Parents, who lived in a different atmosphere in childhood, spend their whole lives looking for people who live by their interests, fully understand them and take them seriously, because their parents were not like that. A certain type of relationship with parents leaves an imprint on a person’s future fate. Let's take the feeling of loneliness as an example. The child is lonely. And not because his parents are cruel, but because “they themselves once experienced the same feelings, had the same needs and, in essence, remained children looking for those whom they could “own” in their own way, whose behavior predictable.

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