Two friends meet who have not seen each other for a long time. One of them with 2 charming sons: - Oh, what wonderful children you have. How old are they? - Lawyer - 3 years, Dentist - 5 years...Dear parents, I have no doubt that you sincerely love your children and want happiness for them. I am sure that it is important for you to do everything possible so that your children live better and happier than you. This is a normal parental desire... The most important question: how do you know exactly how happy your children will be? After all, they are not you. Once upon a time, while skiing in Slovakia, I noticed one person. He looked to be about 60 years old, a man of fairly strong build, who climbed the mountains on foot with a shovel and poured snow onto the ski track of the rope tow (it was spring, and the snow was melting). I noticed his face: this man was clearly happy with his life. He was calm and at the same time filled from within with some kind of confidence that he was in the right place, doing what he loved. I remember I even completed the picture: he comes home, his wife meets him - there is soup, bread and red wine on the table, the fire is crackling in the stove, and they sit together leisurely talking, eating and enjoying life... Animals teach their young to survive in this world : learn to get food for yourself, dodge enemies and defeat them, build homes... They teach their cubs life skills... Our task with you is to teach our children to be happy and enjoy everything that surrounds them: from work and profession, from overcoming difficulties that arise from communicating with other people. I would like to immediately clarify what I mean by the words “being happy.” Be sad when you are sad, get angry when something doesn’t work out, and direct this anger not at yourself or someone else, but at overcoming difficulties. Recognize your fear when you are scared (this, by the way, is absolutely normal), and make fear your ally, an assistant who tells you where and what you still need to practice and gain experience. Learn to get up when you stumble and fall, or, conversely, lie down and gain strength when you are tired. Rejoice when the Soul sings...How to do this, you ask? Are there techniques that can be used to put this into practice? What I bring to your attention is based on my more than 20 years of experience as a father and 10 years of experience as a psychologist. The most important thing, in my opinion, is to understand the following: as soon as we have children, we become parents. But we do not immediately become good, correct, wise, experienced, forgiving, understanding and supportive parents. We grow and develop together with our children - through trial, error, disappointment, sleepless nights, worries... The most important thing is the invaluable experience that we gain. So, here are some tips and tricks that I would like to share with you: 1. Experiment, try, get carried away. Remember that you and your children are involved in this experiment, and unlike laboratory work in physics, unforeseen, unplanned consequences in the form of negative emotions may arise during the experiment. Respond to them, because this is the most important thing in the experiment!2. Learn from your experiences, talk to other people, read, attend lectures. Be sensitive, attentive, thoughtful and analytical.3. Make mistakes... A paradoxical call, isn't it? Let me explain: an error is something we don’t know or can’t do. It is impossible to know and be able to do everything in the world!!! The most important thing about a mistake is that it shows the area of ​​our growth and development. The fact of admitting a mistake is important. Firstly, it shows our children that they themselves have the right to make mistakes. Secondly, children understand that parents are not Gods who look down from Olympus on their children, radiating their perfection from there. And thirdly, the child realizes that a mistake can not only be corrected, but can be made an area of ​​his attention, growth and development.4. Praise the children...It sounds very simple, but in practice it was quite difficult for me to apply and implement, especially at first. I usually compare praise metaphorically to a seasoning that is used in cooking. Firstly, you need to very clearly understand which seasoning is suitable for which product, and secondly, the amount of seasoning added is very important. Too little or too much - and the dish is no longer tasty. Now I’ll move from the metaphor to the essence of the matter... It is mandatory to praise the child. This is an axiom. For example, your child drew a picture that you don’t really like. It may be far from a masterpiece. He tried, puffed, snorted - and now he presented his work to your attention. Praise him for his diligence and perseverance, for his desire to be creative. And leave the quality of the drawing to the experts and specialists who do this professionally. Here I also remembered one video clip that I came across not so long ago on Facebook. There, one skateboarder, about 30 years old, was learning how to navigate a rather difficult (for me, very difficult) obstacle. Over the course of 3 minutes, he made about 15 attempts, and each time his attempt ended in a fall. And he only pulled out at the last second. What am I talking about? CHAMPIONS ARE NOT BORN... Now about the amount of praise. If you praise a child out of proportion to the effort he expended, there are two possible options. In the first case, not receiving enough of your support, the child will doubt his abilities and quit this activity, and perhaps in the future he will start and quit without finishing the job he started. In the second case, if there is too much praise (and not to the point), when faced with real assessment from friends and the outside world, the child may stop taking risks, remaining a “delicate and fragile houseplant” whose growth and development requires special “ greenhouse" conditions...5. Trust your child... But remember the well-known saying: “Trust, but verify.” Trusting unconditionally is harmful. You may be missing something in your relationship. If we find out that a child is not completely honest with us, this is a signal, a sign, a red light that we are mistaken in something, and it is easier for the child to tell us a lie than to experience the consequences of the truth. Do not rush to accuse your child of lying. Firstly, we should not forget that in this relationship we are the elders, which means that we have more experience, wisdom and responsibility. Secondly, any crisis in a relationship is an area of ​​growth and improvement. Of course, going through crises is unpleasant, sometimes even painful, because we so humanly want everything to be “even and smooth.” Here I remember Vysotsky’s song: “... The only thing better than mountains can be mountains that you haven’t been to yet...” Life essentially consists of preparing for the ascent, the ascent itself, celebrating success, rest and... everything anew.6. Be persistent, reliable and patient in supporting your children... We are all human. All of us periodically have moments of weakness and despair, when it seems that everything is bad, nothing will work out... It is at such moments that you want to lean on someone, whine a little, feel weak and helpless. In other words, get support. Don’t be afraid to share with your children your experience of overcoming difficulties, your worries and failures... Unfortunately, we are not immune from failures and disappointments, from defeats and falls. The most important skill that helps to overcome this is the ability to get up, rubbing the bruised area and move on. It is you and me that our children can rely on at such moments. And it is our reliability in such moments that will help our children learn to rely on themselves and others in the future... This is Important!7. Love your children... Just love... Just for who they are... And not for what kind of dentists or lawyers they are. You can be happy about this, you can be proud of this. And you need to love them simply because they are next to you. Remember, no one will ever be able to love them the way you do, selflessly and devotedly. Your experiences, sleepless nights, torment and doubts are very important;