You shouldn’t put too much “stuff” in your backpack in order to lighten the other person’s load. It may turn out that you will not only put too much burden on your own shoulders, but you will also unwittingly put in your backpack some useful tools for a person that he should learn to use on his own. We have already said that it is better to teach a hungry person to catch fish or grow wheat, rather than simply feeding him a fish or a piece of bread. And this is true - after all, a person who needs help not only receives it from you, but learns to provide it to himself. However, as they say, there are no universal methods and each person, each case is unique. “Sometimes, when you give bread to a hungry person, you are simply giving him your love. And it is this love that sometimes prompts a person to change his behavior. Having surrounded with love a friend (loved one) or another person who is in trouble, it may turn out that your words of support will help him get out of the current situation. Love is a powerful healing agent.” Ilse Sand. The truth in life also happens that some people abuse help, and I constantly demand ready-made solutions. This is especially true when this assistance is provided by a highly sensitive person. After all, for highly sensitive people, their life principles go side by side with professional rules. Like, in general, other people in helping professions (I can’t presume to say for everyone, of course – yes for me); but the problem is that people with a stronger and more stable psyche are able to abstract from other people’s emotions and create points of support for themselves. Such people know how not to merge with other people's emotions and problems and rarely experience strong remorse. Highly sensitive people often begin to blame themselves for almost every little thing. Especially when, already in the process of helping, they have loaded a heavy bag of other people’s problems onto their shoulders and are ready to drag the person “on themselves to the bitter end.” And here are some of these rules that may be familiar to you (a highly sensitive person): - I should not make mistakes; - I should give myself to others; - I should not let others down; - I should not be angry with others for no apparent reason; — I should not burden others with my problems; - if someone starts to get angry/angry/offended at me, I must at all costs regain the trust of this person; - I must make sure that the people around me feel as comfortable and cozy as possible. These are rather exaggerated examples - for everyone they will be their own, but it feels like all the energy is directed outward. Well, this brings us back to such feelings as guilt and fear. In this case, it is very important not only to provide yourself with support (or ask your loved ones for it), but also to start realize whether such rules bring you psychological harm both in life and in the professional field of the helping profession. The first thing that is important to pay attention to is the thoughts that arise when your conscience or fear begins to torment you. It is important to record these (this) thoughts and relate them to a specific feeling; hear what you say to yourself at such moments? What does this give you and what does it deprive you of? Rule number one is to accept that it is common for any person to make mistakes. It would be good to keep this idea in mind and remember that no one is immune from wrong decisions. It is important to discover your strict life rules in a timely manner and realize how difficult it is for you to comply with them. “All people do not know how to accurately predict the future, and therefore it is difficult to calculate all possible consequences (which often begin to be felt only after many years). When setting goals for yourself, you may be afraid of the unknown. It is important to take into account here that everything does not always end well.” This is a given - which, although difficult, is important to accept. Having defined your rules (life or professional), write down the advantages and disadvantages of each of them on two sheets of paper. After some time, you will see that some of them influence you positively, and.