Changes are always frightening, since it seems to a person that any of his experiences are finite and that there is an abyss beyond - there he will fall and disappear. A person does not assume that beyond the edge of his perception and beliefs there are new amazing worlds. If a person expects the worst changes and is afraid of them, then this is a sign that he is not afraid of changes, but precisely this worst thing from which he is trying to hide. It is not the changes themselves that frighten him, but what is associated with them. But, there is a phenomenon that people are afraid of happiness and success equally as of the worst thing imaginable. This fear rises to us from the depths of centuries, when our ancestors lived in caves in the wild and were afraid that they would be eaten by something - a huge hungry predator, so it was dangerous to go outside the cave. Since we haven’t lived in caves for a long time or been in the wild, fear still rises, even though it doesn’t seem logical to the mind. This is an irrational fear. All these fears of change are associated with past experience and a person is afraid of the past if it is not comprehended. A person can be afraid of success only because in the past his friends were jealous of some of his achievements and turned away from him. And now, because of the fear that he will remain alone, he can unconsciously sabotage his own success. Fears of past experience do not allow us to change, thus a person lives in the past. Accordingly, it is not the changes themselves that scare us; change is good - it is the unreflected past that scares us. We must learn to see the past as a point of growth, as fertile soil and seeds that sprout into beautiful flowers. And all this fear essentially boils down to the fact that our little weak part of the psyche was once damaged. Once upon a time we were attacked, we were offended, we were abandoned, we were treated badly, we were trampled, we were humiliated, etc. And the biggest fear is that we are left without support and without protection. We have become defenseless. In essence, a person is afraid of his defenselessness, and not of change. That he can’t cope, that he has no support. And support is the base, this is the platform on which I can live and be the creator of my life. How to feel this support? This invisible support, which a person can follow and develop, is formed in infancy and extends throughout life. This support is called attachment. This support is large, significant adults with whom the child feels warm and safe and whom he can follow. This attachment may be lost due to the fears of the adults themselves, or because there was no significant adult, because of the non-ecological attitude of adults towards the child, etc. But the trick is that it can be lost or found again. Because it is always there in our psyche, you just have to find its sprout. The strength of this attachment is not probable in its meaning. That is, if I am afraid of changes and I am frightened by some large figure, something larger than me that caused me pain, then the psyche perceives this as a complete lack of support in the future of my life and the person begins to close himself off from life. Life becomes the enemy. That is, a person begins to endow him with all the qualities that have traumatized him in his life. And it turns out that he stops living his life, but gets stuck in the illusion of fighting fear and those feelings that cause horror in him. Life becomes a nightmare and everyone becomes horrible and starts behaving horribly towards you. This is how you create your own hell. This is the effect of our projective mechanism, in simple words projection. As a result, it is not life that is so terrible, but what a person creates in it. If an attachment with a significant adult is found or exists inside a person’s psyche, in principle, it is not so important what kind of figure it is, as the energy itself. She must be big, giving, loving, and then a person can follow her and grow, which means change. Exercise “Attachment as an invisible support.” 1. Cover your eyes. Get a little foggy, dive deep into yourself.2. AND)