A fairy tale for adults They sat opposite each other in the darkness of the night in a carriage compartment. One was elegant, well-groomed, beautifully and stylishly dressed , in light colors, makeup, manicure, and from the top of her head to her toes, seemed the height of perfection. The other was simply, almost sloppily dressed in something incomprehensible, blurry dark gray, loose, a little shaggy, absolutely not well-groomed. At first, both of them had a feeling some kind of magical attraction, they looked at each other with interest, and then the look of one of them became cynical, contemptuous, from above, and the other, impudent and sly, with a challenge. The dark one was the first to interrupt the silence: “Where are we going?” The light one looked Through the Dark One, she muttered: “Well-mannered people first say hello, and then, having introduced themselves, they offer to get to know each other.” “Ohhhh yes,” Dark One narrowed her eyes, “excuse me, please, of course, of course... Hello!” “Good evening,” Light answered arrogantly. “What a boor,” Light thought to herself. Dark giggled, as if she was counting Light’s thoughts, and put cognac on the table. “Well, it’s a long night, we’re going a long way, I suggest shortening the distance.” Light looked even more contemptuously at Dark and thought: “Oh.” God, she’s also a drunk, well, she’s my travel companion..., after all, I’m traveling far, I need to fall asleep faster, there’s a busy day ahead, I need to be on top. She said quietly and restrainedly: “Thank you, I don’t drink.” Although it flashed through my thoughts, maybe 50 grams would be appropriate, in an unfamiliar, uncomfortable environment it is very difficult to fall asleep. The dark one again counted her thoughts and simply poured cognac into two glasses, smiling openly: “Come on, take it!” The light one hesitated a little, extended her hand to glass - at least the glass is clean, but what quality of cognac - thoughts were spinning in my head, to which the Dark One quickly answered with a grin: - Don’t be afraid, alcohol disarms microbes, cognac is real. And she extended her hand with a glass in a friendly manner: “Come on, let’s get acquainted, it’s very interesting to meet people on trains, especially at night!” The light one responded with a reciprocal gesture and drank silently. The Dark One looked mischievously at the Light One: - Well? Has it become warmer? “Where?” asked Svetlaya. “Yes, everywhere, in the body, in the soul, in the head.” “Everything is fine there as it is,” Svetlaya answered coldly. “Ahhh, well, well,” and climbing up onto the bed with her feet , The dark one settled down on the pillow in the pose of a woman on a teapot, continuing to watch Svetlya with interest. The light one turned her face to the window peering into the darkness, her gaze became intense, as if she wanted to look out for something important. “What do you want to see in the dark?” with a grin. asked the Dark One. “Nothing, although there is a lot there, it’s just not visible right away, you need to catch something separate with your vision, then it’s interesting to think, think about it,” Light answered more simply. “Hmmm,” said the Dark One, “there’s a lot of things there, in the dark.” , but why speculate, think out? “Whether in the light, even in the dark, what exists, it simply exists in fact, and nothing will be added there, there is a thing, take it for granted and that’s it, it exists,” the Dark One continued. After all, there is nothing simpler than simplicity, naturalness, the given. -You know, since childhood I was afraid of the dark, my parents always scared me that someone evil was sitting there and could take it away, so I got used to inventing my own world in the dark, beautiful, bright , clean. “And where did you get the idea that in the dark there is only dirty, terrible, scary?” the Dark One smiled slyly. “Yes, something like that, the opinion formed.” “You had a fun childhood... The Light One looked at the Dark One and muttered: Normal, unlike some. Many would envy my childhood. I have a wonderful family, mom, dad, they gave me upbringing, education, developed in me a taste for the beautiful, pure, bright, sublime. I’m proud of this, I’m proud of what they invested in me..-Also say, they pressed it in and concreted it in!! - Dark One neighed. - And now I carry this through life, like a concrete slab on my head and shoulders... What happiness!!! The Light One flashed anger in her gaze, she wanted to answer sharply, but the Dark One beat her to it: - Well, go on, bark, get angry, shoot what you wanted. - No, well-mannered people are above this, we don’t respond to rudeness like that. - What, I ate it againOnce, I swallowed a lump of anger, and how do you feel in life, do you swallow a lot, do you eat such delicacies? Light, swallowing the lump, holding back the trembling in her throat, turned to the window. She’s interesting, this Dark One, she seems to bite, but she’s not boorish, and somehow she’s not evil, interesting, there’s something demonic, strong, powerful about her: “It happens,” answered the Dark One. “Doesn’t it happen with you?” “It doesn’t happen with us?” It happens that we live a simpler, more primitive life, as you intelligent people say. - For you, who is it? - For us, is it for the outcasts, rejected by people like you. - Where did you get this from? - asked Svetlaya, - what does it mean rejected, by whom? - By whom? “By society, by people,” the Dark One answered calmly. God, it must be, apparently it’s got to people like her, the Light One thought with sympathy in her eyes, looking at the Dark One. She again counted her thoughts and answered: “Do you sympathize with me?” It’s in vain, I live a wonderful, simple and wonderful life, I’m having a blast, I love and allow myself absolutely everything in the world! - What can you afford? I’m embarrassed to ask? I have a family, husband, children, wealth, education, profession, status, car, money, everything is in full abundance, my cup is full! - Svetlaya burst into flames. - Ohhh, of course, what a delight, I really believe what an unearthly happiness this is. And do you really believe that this is happiness? - The Dark one laughed out loud. - What is your definition of happiness? - Svetlaya asked arrogantly. “In mine, it’s ME!” Me and what is in me! My life, my love, my feelings, my body, my desires, whims, passions. “I love myself!” the Dark One answered very calmly. “What else do you have?” “I have me and my world.” “What do you mean, I didn’t understand what you have from the outside, wealth, property, family?” , that’s what you’re talking about, I have much more, whatever I want, I’ll swallow it! - Dark One cackled. Everything becomes mine as soon as I want, absolutely everything. -What do you do in life? - Svetlaya asked puzzled, looking at her appearance, trying to guess who was in front of her. - I live! That's what I do. -That's how everyone lives. -Ahahaa, -most exist, or depict a life, happy, rich, different. They are sulking, so to speak, in an attempt to show how happy, successful, wealthy we are, well, in general, sad....- the Dark One grinned again. The Light One looked at the Dark One with interest: - Wait, but you work with someone, with someone- then you live, you do something in life. -No, I just live, enjoying life, people give me everything themselves, sometimes they call me, invite me to their place, to get acquainted, to chat, but this is rare, more often I take everything myself I want and I get everything I want. A criminal, a gypsy, guesses flashed through Svetlaya’s thoughts. The Dark One smiled wider and wider, the lights of excitement, courage, some kind of demonic shine from within were burning in her eyes. “Don’t guess, just ask, I’ll answer, I’m already sitting here next to you.” Take advantage of the moment,” the Dark One suggested. “How.” you live? - Svetlaya plucked up courage, switching to you. - I, I allow myself everything, everything I want, I want to sleep, I want to lie down, eat, drink, create, get creative, chat, walk, run, play mischief, be a hooligan. Do you know how cool this is! You were running barefoot in the rain, can you afford not to wash your face, not comb your hair, generally do only what you, your true you, your body want? Have you tried to ignore the rules of life at least once, to act contrary to your parents, society, morality? Svetlaya’s eyes widened in surprise: - Well, that’s impossible, it’s not right, bad, not beautiful, low, disgusting, vulgar and dirty. - Well, come on. “Let’s move on!!!” the Dark One encouraged. “Such beautiful words, it’s like a balm spreads through my heart, the more I hear them, the more strength and energy I have, wow, how rushing, wow, what courage!!!!!. She and indeed she became larger, higher than she was, her gaze became more and more bright, two green spotlights shone from it. “What are you afraid of, ahaha, don’t be scared, I’m in a good mood today, sometimes I really can bang, as you say.” And if I blow up, it won’t seem like much, you know how much it amuses me, watching people like you, when I explode, you have such frightened eyes after such a spectacle, such a cringed look, you can go crazy. - What’s wrong with that?“Is it funny if something scares people?” asked Svetlaya. “You know, it’s like with wild animals, you are scared out of your mind, and if they attack you or growl next to you, you feel horror, panic, fright.” But when you, aware of their wild nature, can make friends with them, respecting their strength and nature, you will be able to control them. Lions in the circus remain lions, wild animals, but together with humans they can create a wonderful show and spectacle. It takes your breath away from the strength, power, and ability to manage and be friends with it. He feeds them, cares for them, treats them with love, with respect for their strength, and they become almost tame. Almost. But if a person forgets about this, there will be trouble, tragedy. So we, like me, are dangerous until they make friends with us and learn to live side by side in peace with us. You don’t have such inner strength as we have. We are necessary, useful to each other. We are even more important to you than you are to us. “Very funny,” muttered Svetlaya, “well, what can you give me, I have everything.” “You don’t have the main thing, you don’t have you.” You only have what you are used to showing, putting on display. And everything else is empty. Do you know yourself, do you hear your body, your needs, desires, strengths? You don’t have to answer, you don’t know. You don’t know your natural essence, the essence of a woman. Under those slabs that you carry on your shoulders and head, your body has turned into a dead pillar of reinforced concrete. “No, I’m alive,” Svetlaya said almost with tears, “I’m warm...” Still... but you’re already cooling down. ....just a little more and that’s it, the husband in bed can’t tell the difference from a cold sheet. Frost will soon appear on your hands! - The Dark One grinned, - although this is no longer a threat to you, you haven’t needed your body for a long time, you wear clothes, make-up and hair on it. Aaaaaaah, you’re still moving him like a robot, no, robotic. Svetlaya could no longer hold back her tears, they flowed in streams down her cheeks, washing away the makeup so carefully applied, as if washing off a mask from her face, and it became so hot on his neck, it’s been a long time a forgotten feeling from childhood, youth. “Well, well, finally,” the Dark One spoke for the first time affectionately and warmly, “glory to you, God, alive, cry honey, cry, let’s do it from the heart, pour out everything that has frozen you, wash off the mask.” Oh, you actually look younger, such a funny pug, your eyes are clear, glowing, sparkling! “Congratulations on your first dream...” she stuttered, “on the first rain from you, on your first steps.” “Let’s have another drink,” Svetlaya held out the glass, I haven’t been in pain and sad and warm at the same time for so long. “Let’s do it a little,” the Dark One answered, “I understand.” “You know, you’re right in everything, for so long I didn’t allow myself anything that you said.” I have already forgotten what I am, what I have, what I want, what only I want, for myself. You know, I was once different, funny, stupid, simple, natural and real, and then something happened in the family, or in me, or with my parents, and I became like that. It was so long ago. I don’t remember when, but I had the feeling that something had left me, disappeared, evaporated. Everything seems to be not bad, everything is fine, but... - Svetlaya stuttered. - Speak up, we’re alone here,” the Dark One said quietly. “You know, but sometimes I wanted to, don’t give a damn about everything, run away wherever my eyes look, into the unknown, for a little while, but you can’t, you can’t upset your parents, I wanted to fool around, but there are people around, oh, that’s the main thing, the words “What will people say” are really hammered somewhere in my head, in my chest. “Don’t be a fool, don’t allow it, be worthy, be clean, neat, well-mannered, calm, balanced, clean, restrained.” Lord, there are so many “be.” But I wanted to be silly, sometimes to make you laugh, sometimes to do something weird, to laugh out loud. Or I dreamed, this is what it would be like not to get out of bed for two or three days, crunch something under the blanket, read all sorts of books, especially, you know, romance novels, imagine yourself either as the author or the main character. You said about the bed, yes, that’s how it is, everything is dead there, it’s sad, but once upon a time there was such a thing in my mind and soul, well.