In this article, I tried to illuminate my understanding of true love in more detail. In the wonderful book “Intimacy” by professor of psychiatry Ts.P. Korolenko love is divided into passionate and sociable love. Passionate love is similar to falling in love, when we become excessively fixated on a partner, experience a strong sexual attraction to him, a feeling of euphoria, etc. Sexual attraction is an important component of true love, in any case, it all begins precisely from sexual attraction (for those who claim that love is possible without this component). In convivial love, these affective states are absent, there is no such passionate desire and ecstasy, but such relationships are deeper and longer lasting. Passion can flare up and fade away just as quickly. In the case when passion turns into companionable love, the relationship can last a long time. Love always begins with falling in love, and falling in love is, in most cases, the result of imprinting, which I talked about in my previous article. That is, we fall in love with a certain image that has caused us significant associations with the past, or under the influence of the awakening of certain “canned” emotions. The second point in my article was about the spiritual component, which keeps people in a couple even after strong sexual cravings. to each other. This point was not fully covered by me. I am correcting my mistake. It would be more correct to call this spiritual component “intimacy.” The condition for intimacy is 3 components: reciprocity, vulnerability and openness. Reciprocity is understood as the mutual exchange of feelings, emotions, actions. That is, if I bare my soul to my partner, then I expect the same from him. When there is a “one-goal game”, what kind of intimacy can we talk about? I don’t agree with E. Fromm’s postulate in “The Art of Loving” that you always need to give, no matter what, they say, we are not in the market. But I’m not a “giver” to give to everyone. If I become vulnerable in front of you, and you are closed, then the “give-take” balance is disrupted, as a result, a partner who does not reciprocate your vulnerability and openness demonstrates his superiority, and therefore the relationship becomes unequal, that is, not mutual. Vulnerability means the ability not to be afraid to be weak, vulnerable. Openness means a trusting relationship. That is, by trusting you, I hope that you will not cheat on me with others, for example. This relates to the issue of the need for control, which I wrote about in the last article. By control, I did not mean spying on a partner and subordinating his interests to my own, as it might seem to readers. The need for control is, in other words, the need to be sure that a person will not betray you, that is, the need for trust. We even treat our own things with jealousy, but how can we avoid jealousy towards our partner? And you can avoid it only by being sure that your partner will not betray you, that is, trusting him. Accordingly, another condition of love is authenticity (authenticity) - when a person’s words coincide with his feelings and actions. Another important condition of love is the ability to both merge with a partner, and to separation. Merger without separation leads to the “absorption” of the partner. In simple terms, when people are constantly in a state of Siamese twins, they can quickly become fed up with each other or there may be a feeling that one partner wants to suppress the other. To prevent this from happening, it is necessary to separate - to have a zone of your own interests that are not related to your partner. Another condition of love is tolerance, tolerance for the fact that a person has his own attitude to many events, which differs from the approaches we are accustomed to. Therefore, in order for the relationship in a couple to be trusting and tolerant, you need to discuss these events and attitudes towards them “on the shore” so that your values ​​coincide. The next conditions of love are the need for mutual care, as well as interest in the partner, in his thoughts, feelings, what he does (to his personality in.