This question, perhaps, is one of the most actively debated questions today. At the same time, when counseling young women and girls, I often come across the fact that the difficulties they have in relationships with men are in one way or another connected with the client’s position on this issue. And every time I have to analyze in detail the cause-and-effect relationships between the problem that has arisen and the client’s behavior, determined by her position, as well as the behavior of her man in this direction. Many ladies put the following meaning into the category “a man seeks a girl”: a man must take a girl to a cafe, give her flowers and gifts, give her compliments, take responsibility for spending leisure time and pay for it, must take care of the girl, withstand her absurd antics and wait stoically until she begins to show her feelings for him, affection, and also agree to sex. Each lady has her own “measurement” of how much effort, time and money a man must invest in her before she begins to show his favor and also agrees to sex. All this looks like a game, not a sincere relationship between a man and a woman . Is not it? Many men perceive the courtship process this way. Some play this game enthusiastically, others are forced to agree to it, others refuse it, going in search of that girl who does not play such games. The romantic component of this category, with which it was filled within the historical framework quite recently, today the day, unfortunately, faded into the background. Modern people have become more pragmatic, more stingy in expressing romantic feelings. This applies equally to both sexes. However, all men are different. In some there is more romanticism, in others - adventurism, in others - pragmatism... Of course, not every man has the interest and ability to compete and compete. They do not have the spirit of adventurism, they quickly lose interest in processes in which they cannot achieve quick success, they are not inclined to show persistence and perseverance, and overcome difficulties on the way to achieving the goal. They are more likely to be characterized by openness, sincerity, and trust. Such men, of course, with a high degree of probability will not persistently pursue a girl. It doesn’t matter whether he has the financial capabilities for this or not. They value genuine interest in themselves and are very sensitive to what may indicate a lack of sincerity. Like any person in love, such men become extremely susceptible to any manifestations of manipulation, pretense, manifestations of interest not in them as individuals, but in their financial situation and ability to generously share their financial resources with the girl. If the girl does not arouse such a man’s strong interest , he will not make attempts to achieve her favor. If, on the contrary, he is interested in a relationship with a girl, he can play the “let him pursue me” game for some time. However, such a game will not be able to continue for long. The format of the relationship will be a burden for such a man, and he would rather interrupt it than continue to wait for it to change. Another category of men does not experience rejection of the situation of rivalry and competition; they are able to experience minor failures without losing interest in the process, and are distinguished by perseverance and perseverance. Such men, of course, will strive to win the girl’s favor, spending time, effort, and money. However, the situation itself, if it drags on for too long according to their subjective feelings, will be unpleasant for them. Understanding that in a relationship with him a girl is driven primarily by mercantile interest leads such men to disappointment and, often, to a refusal to continue the relationship. At the same time, the effort expended will, according to his own feelings, give the relationship with the girl more significance. We always.