Love yourself. Usually, few people understand what it means to truly love yourself. Once upon a time, when I first read the expression “you need to love yourself” in a psychological book, I was a little shocked. It seemed to me that this was the main answer to all my questions at that time... I didn’t love myself... But I didn’t understand at all what it meant to “love myself.” And with these words I walked around like a “fool with a mortar.” It wasn’t at all clear to me what I had to do to make me love myself??? I was simply not taught this. I walked around with emptiness in my head, with emptiness in my soul... running from parents to friends, to people I knew and didn’t know. And rather, I was looking for this love from somewhere outside of me... Loving myself was for me a simple set of letters and words. In order to find my answers to this question: “what does it mean to love yourself,” it took me more than 25 years. And Now, I think that so many of these facets of self-love have not yet been discovered. And I will comprehend them throughout my life. But what I managed to touch in this story of self-love has now become my life, my profession. The very first thing in self-love now is that I am for Myself, I - with Myself! I am the person who will never offend me, who will not abandon me, who will not punish, who will not betray, who will not judge, who will not evaluate, who will not force himself to do something, who will give me the right to make mistakes, who will give me the right to be imperfect, will give the right not to be liked by everyone, the right not to be good and comfortable for everyone. I am the one who can always protect myself, protect, support, give what I need. I am the one who can always turn for help, warmth, support from other people whom I trust, if I have such a need. My sensitivity to myself, to my condition, to my life is my most faithful assistant while I able to feel. This is my compass of self-love. For many years I learned not to turn away from myself and my feelings, needs, for the sake of being “good” and accepted by society, and sometimes by loved ones. I learned for many years not to betray myself. When I betray myself, I hand over myself and my life into the wrong hands. It was safe, it could only be done in childhood (trusting without regard). As an adult, it’s about responsibility for your life, about the ability to choose those whom you can really trust. I have learned for many years (and now continue) to accept myself as I am—not ideal. It gives you the freedom to be yourself. And this gives me the opportunity to allow the people around me to also be themselves.... Self-love is stitched into my body. Where it hurts are those places in which I still betray myself, reject, blame, do not accept, torment myself (unconsciously, of course). These are like blind spots where light needs to be shed. These are like growth zones for self-love. If I don’t love myself, then I cannot love another person deeply. If I don’t love myself, then I won’t be able to accept the love of another, I won’t be able to let it into myself without expecting something in return... If I don’t love myself, then it’s not me at all... but what was expected of me , what they wanted me to be, then what I should have been... and sometimes I expected from myself to please the expectations of others....----------------- -------------------------------------------------- ----------------------I’m writing and thinking, who is this, someone... but not me... an inanimate someone .... mask... onion skins... and who am I... as you understand, without love you can’t figure it out at all....