Catch up and get help. I do so much for him, but he told me that he doesn’t feel my love and care. How did you understand that you were doing this for him? He asked me to do this for him? I try, I work two jobs, I carry everything into the house, but it turns out that this is not what they need. And you asked what they need? I stay at work until late, I work for three people, and the boss He looks at me sideways, I can’t come up and ask for a promotion, I’m afraid that they’ll fire me then. Have you agreed that you will work more and apply for a higher salary? The desire to “please”, “guess” what someone else needs comes from childhood, when children listen to parents, depending on their mood, try to be good, not annoy dad when he watches football, wash the dishes so that mom doesn’t scream after work, listen every time in what state the parent comes (drunk or not, angry or not), do homework, get an A, to sit with younger children...To be comfortable, so as not to be abandoned, not to be punished, to be the best. Children are dependent on their parents (or their substitutes) from the moment of birth, they cannot survive on their own. They are forced to adapt to the environment in which they exist. It is the dependence on the parents’ mood and its manifestations that greatly influences the child’s internal security, his confidence in a safe space and environment. Believe that if they are excellent students or obedient, then their parents will love them more, be less upset and scold them less. This listening and watching creates anxiety for the rest of their lives. They also influence future relationships. To do something that was not asked, to help where there is no need for it - this is about one’s own need to not be abandoned, loved, accepted, needed. In therapy, a person learns to listen to himself, his needs, ask questions to others, talk about your needs. What would be a sign of caring for you? Love? What can I do to support you? This is one of the options why it is so important to “read the thoughts of others” and anticipate events. Another reason may also appear in therapy..