Relationships when the goals of the spouses diverge in different directions seem unpromising. Is this always so? And what to do if the husband does not want children, and the wife wants to add a new person to the family?1. Why do you want a child with this man? First, you need to understand the quality of your relationship with a man. How much do you both trust each other, he you, and you him? What is your relationship with your parents? What is the climate in your family space? How often do you spend time together and what is it filled with? Is this the only difference between you or do you have little in common with him? Why are you together? Are you happy with this man? Is your man happy? How do you see your future together? Often a woman wants a child against her husband’s wishes in order to “improve” the relationship. And this, as practice shows, is most often a losing strategy. And the motive of pregnancy as such. If after the birth of a child the relationship does not change or becomes even worse, then it may turn out that the woman as such did not really want the child. She is not ready to accept the changes associated with his appearance and the shattered expectations about a relationship with a man, which causes both herself and her relationship with her child to suffer. It's best not to ignore the obvious differences between you and your man in how you see your life together and what each of you wants. 2. Has it always been this way? Another important point is that there was a period in a relationship when a man wants and passionately desires children, and then his passion for this changes to denial. Context can play a role here. When everything was good in relationships, in finances, in work, the man was confident; over time, something could change and confidence became much less. Confidence that he will cope with fatherhood. It is important to understand here that this is a temporary period and perhaps your man needs your support. 3. Does the man have children? If your husband already has children from a previous relationship, and everything is not easy for him, then perhaps this is why he does not want children. And this, on the one hand, can indicate the man’s awareness of responsibility in this matter, and on the other hand, that this has traumatized him. Also, the fact that he may not want more children is all individual. And here it all depends on the context, whether a man needs the help of a psychologist or just time. Each of us has freedom of choice and free will. A man may indeed be mentally unprepared for fatherhood and does not need to be saved from this. Persuade him or prove to him that he or you need the child. His own fears and beliefs in this matter are his responsibility. And if it is important for him to maintain a relationship with you, he will be ready to resolve this issue, if not, then perhaps this is really not the right man for you. And if the man next to you wants other things, then the question is more likely for you. Why do you still choose to stay with those who don't care about your needs and desires? How do you want to live your life? What are your goals and dreams? And why do you want a child right now? Conscious motherhood does not begin from the moment you give birth to a child and not with a two-line test. It begins the moment you are ready to take responsibility for your interests and desires. And be with those who are at the same time with you. With respect to you, perinatal psychologist Olga Bychkova.