Sitting on the sofa and looking at the blue sky on the ceiling of my room, I remembered about you. And she began to fantasize. About how you would come up from behind so that I could feel the touch of your body on my back. He would hug me, putting his hands on my waist and sliding them over my chest and stomach. I would take a deep breath and hold it, and my heart would beat faster, ready to burst out of my chest. I would smile and, closing my eyes, throw my head back onto your shoulder, exposing my neck to kisses. Your lips would gently press against hers. Then you would turn me towards you and look into mine with your beautiful brown eyes, smile slyly - the way only you do - and kiss me on the lips. My body would become relaxed and completely trust in your strong hands. You would lift me up, spin me around and lead me to the sofa where I sleep. I would walk on tiptoes, with my back, wrapping my arms around your neck and not taking my eyes off your face. I would fiddle with your dark thick hair... And laugh playfully... Because I would like it all so much! If this turned out to be true just one more time... I understand that these are just my dreams. And you are not the person I wanted to see you, and with whom I communicated. I said a lot of stupid things. Something that should have been kept to yourself. I'm sorry about that. Although I believe that I did the best. Then I protected myself from you. I was unbearably afraid to imagine that I could love you, and you could leave at any moment. I heard in your words what I wanted, and left the truth for later. For that very “later” that will allow me to close the door behind you and, gritting my teeth, pretend that I can live without you. And how I would like to be with you! I really wanted this...You are free. I deceive myself by repeating that I accept your will to leave. Disappear, avoid. It was easy, pleasant and fun with you. It was a time filled with meaning and, perhaps, incommensurate with our closeness and trust. You know, if you had once read my letter and called, I would like to just be myself. And just being close to you. A lump in my throat. Bitterness. And the pain that in real life there is no “would».