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I'm not a robot

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“A deeper meaning lives in the fairy tales told to me in my childhood than in the truth that is taught by life” Schiller “Once upon a time”... “in the distant kingdom, in the thirtieth kingdom””...This is how all the old fairy tales that we read begin in childhood. And they start correctly, because you immediately understand that we are talking about another world. Fairytale world. Is he so different? It has heroes, there are villains, there is a struggle between good and evil, there is a happy ending. But, after all, all this also exists in life. So is life a fairy tale? Maybe. But who said that this fairy tale has a good ending? And who said that you are the main character in it? And that it was written by you? “Life is a story told by an idiot, where there is no meaning, but only sound and fury,” Shakespeare asserted through the lips of one of his heroes. Unlike a fairy tale, in life there is no clarity, there is no simplicity, and the positive hero does not always win. So, are we born to spoil a fairy tale with reality? Don't know. I know that every person builds his life in accordance with the script that he wrote himself. A script is an unconscious life plan based on decisions made in early childhood. The script determines our attitude towards ourselves and other people, dictates certain actions and behavior in general. The program laid down in childhood can be identified by analyzing a favorite childhood fairy tale. It is believed that it was no coincidence that this or that fairy tale made a strong impression on the child; perhaps there was identification with its hero due to the coincidence of the plot and life circumstances. And, having later discovered this scripted tale, you can determine what program an adult lives by, and explore his family, sexual, and professional script. Thus, scenario analysis is one of the ways to help a person look at his life from the outside. Then everyone decides for himself whether he needs to change something or not... What does it look like? Let's take the fairy tale of H-K. Andersen "Thumbelina". Why this particular fairy tale? Because the fairy-tale heroine demonstrates one of the most common behavioral patterns of unmarried or divorced women today: a series of fickle or unavailable lovers in an eternal search for either themselves or their Prince. So, let's try to imagine that the fairy-tale heroine is a modern woman who lives next to us... Brief description of the heroine Most often, Thumbelina is difficult to confuse with anyone. This is a miniature (regardless of size) woman-child who you always want to take care of and protect. She tends to dress in a style that can be called a “growing up girl” style. But don’t think that in order to be Thumbelina, you have to dress in the children’s department. Thumbelina is distinguished not by her small stature, but by her penchant for change, wandering and other mental fluctuations. This girl never knows exactly what she wants and lives according to the will of circumstances. The only thing she can say is that she doesn't want what she has at the moment. The fact is that, as we know from the plot, she is absorbed in constant searches for herself, but she just can’t find her. Thumbelina is naive and simple-minded. They are constantly in search of authorities, since by nature they are not leaders, but followers. They need someone to constantly guide them. They need protection. They tend to see support in their husband, lover, boss, and often in any person older and stronger than themselves. Extremely attentive to people, they constantly expect the same attention to themselves. They do not demand, but rather expect, since they are not able to demand anything at all. Thumbelina does not have developed social skills. It is difficult for them to force themselves to say “no”; they are ready to submit to the will of others - be it their superiors or simply persistent representatives from their inner circle. They easily adapt to the desires of other people, often unconsciously trying to become what others want them to see (primarily parents and men). They feeldependence on the generosity and favor of stronger and more authoritative people. Therefore, they try to earn their gratitude. Thumbelina always doubts the correctness of their decisions, waits for “hints from their elders” and lives in anticipation of a miracle that will suddenly fall upon them and change their life. Faced with harsh reality, Thumbelina often becomes depressed. As soon as the real world seems too complex or demanding, they retreat into the familiar inner world of fantasy. Thumbelina is sentimental, sympathizes with the birds, but is completely passive - every now and then they are carried away by the wind or current, in extreme cases, they are “kidnapped” by more active characters . They are content with little, eat without appetite and wait until someone turns out to be a swallow and takes them straight into the arms of the Elf. Relationships with parents Do you remember how the fairy tale begins? “Once upon a time there lived one woman. She didn't have children, but she really wanted a baby. So she went to the old witch and said: “I really want to have a daughter, even the smallest one!”.. “What’s easier!” - answered the witch. - Here's some barley grain for you. This grain is not simple, not the kind that ripens in your fields and is born as food for birds. Take it and plant it in a flower pot. You'll see what happens. - Thank you! - said the woman and gave the witch twelve coppers. Then she went home and planted a barley grain in a flower pot. As soon as she watered it, the grain immediately sprouted. Two leaves and a tender stem appeared from the ground. And on the stem a large wonderful flower appeared, like a tulip. But the flower’s petals were tightly squeezed: it had not yet blossomed. “What a lovely flower!” - the woman said and kissed the beautiful colorful petals. At that same moment, something clicked in the core of the flower, and it opened. It was indeed a large tulip, but in its cup sat a living girl. She was tiny, tiny, only an inch tall. That’s why they called her that - Thumbelina...” Relations with her mother. Thumbelina was a long-awaited and beloved child. However, raised by a single mother, she knew from the very beginning that her parent’s female destiny was not going well (to give birth to her daughter, she even had to resort to artificial conception in a flower pot - “IVF”?). On the one hand, the flower in which Thumbelina was born - a symbol of maternal love, care, subordination of one’s life to the development and happiness of another being. On the other hand, the mother seemed to be expecting a baby, but she never came up with a name, she just gave it a nickname in accordance with the size (Thumbelina - inch). It seems that the mother did not take her daughter seriously; she raised her in a toy, unreal world. Maybe Thumbelina is a kind of toy for her: to dress up, show off, but there is no real care for the child? Leave the nutshell in which Thumbelina slept on the windowsill... yes, truly “maternal” care... Or maybe it’s just time to separate from the good mother and grow up? Relationships with father. There are no relationships, because Thumbelina doesn’t have a dad. Consequently, there is no image of a man next to a woman. The father is the first masculine figure in a girl’s life and serves as an example of the formation of free and safe relationships with the opposite sex. Since he is the “Other”, i.e. different from both her and her mother, it also shapes her uniqueness and individuality. One of the many roles of a father is to help his daughter make the transition from the protected domestic maternal sphere to the outside world, to cope with the conflicts that arise in the life of every person. Traditionally, the father also sets the life guidelines for his daughter. It creates a model of responsibility, decision-making, objectivity, order and discipline. When the daughter is old enough, the father steps back so that she can internalize these ideals and actualize them within herself. If the daughter has not had a relationship with her father, what should she base her idea of ​​\u200b\u200bthe relationship between a man and a woman on? Most likely, she will be guided by what she hears from her mother, as well as by her fantasies, which begin to developin the absence of reality. The fairy tale does not say anything about the opinion of Thumbelina’s mother regarding men, but in life a single mother is often filled with bitterness, cynicism and irritation... In this case, the daughter may develop a negative attitude towards men (family scenario), or, a compensatory, idealistic attitude ( anti-script), when a girl goes into the world of her fantasies, she lives with a mystical faith in the Prince. As a result, the absence of a father figure made our heroine completely helpless in relationships with men, unable to cope with life’s difficulties on her own. Perhaps that is why she goes through such a difficult path, she meets such different partners. Only through personal experience can she understand what is “good” and what is “bad” in a relationship with a man. This is the only way she can realize what she wants from life. Relationships with others From childhood, Thumbelina is destined to play the role of an invisible and weak creature. This is a meek, harmless at first glance, creature that is subjected to repression from all sides for no reason. It’s that she has problems with her classmates and teachers, it’s the neighboring girls who are intriguing against her, she’s the one who was beaten in a competition and was fired from her job for no reason... Those around her (both men and women) often have a desire to feel sorry for her. And although her weakness and helplessness usually irritate her energetic friends - they honestly look after her and try to accommodate her. At the first moment, everyone is imbued with sympathy for this fragile persecuted creature. They give her tea, listen to her sorrows and offer help. But a month or two passes, and the situation does not change; in the new place, Thumbelina has the same problems. Either she attracts troubles to herself like a magnet, or some of them are a figment of her wild imagination. In fact, both are true. Thumbelina really quite often irritate others - with excessive emotionality and melancholy, talking about their disasters and unwillingness to learn from their mistakes. Not only are they gullible, but they also hear only what they want. Therefore, at work, the usual “well done” will immediately be seen as “about to raise your salary” (and then there will be tears, because, having daydreamed, Thumbelina spent money in the hope of a promotion, but it did not happen - intrigue!) Thumbelina is often “saved” stronger characters, but only small and helpless creatures like her help her unselfishly. But in relationships with those who are stronger, there is always an exchange. The toad son dreams of being left alone, and the toad mother finally stopped asking when he will finally get married and give her wonderful grandsons. The cockchafer wants to have next to him a friend like no one else has and whom he can brag about, but within the bounds of decency, so that her unusualness will be approved in his circle .The mouse, with whom Thumbelina spends the cold winter, demands to entertain her with fairy tales and work around the house. The mole wants to hear a gentle voice, but so that its owner does not have her own opinion, but completely shares all her husband’s beliefs. The swallow takes Thumbelina to warmer lands in gratitude for salvation. Only the Elf appreciates her for who she is. But, by the end of the fairy tale, Thumbelina will also change. Let's remember how it was... Relationships with the opposite sex Thumbelina is very pretty and almost everyone likes her. Her wide open eyes, looking at the world in surprise, make a Don Quixote out of any man, who only needs windmills to accomplish a feat in her honor. They say about such people: “Not of this world.” Usually such women are asked: “Where did you come from?” This is a logical question, since, having observed her behavior, one can notice that she is very childish. This cannot but attract potential suitors to her, who like her obedience and resignation. However, she is catastrophically unlucky with gentlemen... This is not part of her plans to repeat the sad fate of her mother, she wants family warmth and home comfort. But often those whom she meets on her life’s path do not take into account her desires (she herself is poorly aware of them) andmanipulate her. Scenarios for relationships with men1. Toad's matchmaking - elaboration of the first scenario of a woman's destiny. Thumbelina's first groom turned out to be a mama's boy, and his mother, the future mother-in-law, turned out to be a real toad. Thumbelina is taken away as a thing and confronted with the fact of the wedding. Mother Toad, seeing this ephemeral creature, decides very quickly. It's time to marry your son; the wife should be submissive and invisible against the background of her mother's massive figure. Such that she will not say an unnecessary word to either her or her husband, but will do everything that is asked of her. Mom knows best what will suit her little toad! And he decisively takes Thumbelina into his swamp. Remember?... “One night, when Thumbelina was sleeping in her cradle, a huge old toad, wet and ugly, snuck into the room through the open window. From the windowsill she jumped onto the table and looked into the shell where Thumbelina was sleeping under a rose petal. “How pretty!” - said the old toad. “My son will be a nice bride!” She grabbed the nutshell with the girl and jumped out through the window into the garden. A river flowed near the garden, and right under its bank there was a marshy swamp. It was here, in the swamp mud, that the old toad lived with his son. The son was also wet and ugly - just like his mother! - Coax, coax, brekke-ke-cake! - that’s all he could say when he saw a little girl in a nutshell.”... Our heroine, at first, does not understand at all what happened, and only then, seeing her husband, does she realize... that she is not ready for such a relationship. Here everything was decided for her, and even her Toad husband walks around with his mother all the time, but doesn’t pay much attention to her. In real life, Toad is a typical mama’s boy, a doormat man who listens to his mother in everything, she tells him that eat, how to dress and who to marry. Mama's boys do not know how to make decisions on their own and are accustomed to shifting their problems onto the shoulders of others. But what can Thumbelina do on her own, in a foreign world about which she knows nothing, since this is her first encounter with harsh reality? All that remains is to cry. If this were a real woman, no one knows how long she would have killed herself, still hoping that she would “win” her husband from her mother. That he could love her, so tender and defenseless, so in need of support and guidance, so open and naive. But it's all useless. If a woman dreams of the option “behind her husband as if behind a stone wall,” then a mama’s boy is not for her. For him, his ideal woman will always be his mother. If you want to build a relationship with him, imitate his precious mother in everything. But Thumbelina is different. Certainly not a powerful woman. Therefore, her huge eyes, full of childish prayer, will look at every man with the hope of getting rid of the suffering of family life. She cannot leave on her own, she needs a rescuer. Such a first marriage is a typical test for a naive young girl: if the choice of a partner was not independent and unconscious. From an unsuccessful marriage you can at least understand what you definitely don’t want. However, Thumbelina still leaves her fate to the will of circumstances: someone else takes pity on her, steals her, or saves her. What does Thumbelina do in the fairy tale? She cries - and the helpers are there... “The little fish that were swimming under the water heard what the old toad woman said. They had seen the groom and mother before. Now they stuck their heads out of the water to look at the bride. Looking at Thumbelina with their round eyes, they went to the very bottom and began to think what to do now. They were terribly sorry that such a cute little girl would have to live with these disgusting toads somewhere under a snag in thick, greasy mud. This won't happen! Fish from all over the river gathered at the water lily leaf on which Thumbelina was sitting and gnawed the leaf stem. And so the water lily leaf floated downstream. The current was strong, and the leaf floated very quickly. Now there was no way the old toad could catch up with Thumbelina. Thumbelina swam further and further, and the little birds that were sitting in the bushes looked at her and sang: “What a cute little girl!” The light white moth kept circling over Thumbelina andfinally landed on the leaf - he really liked this tiny traveler. And Thumbelina took off her silk belt, threw one end over the moth, tied the other to the leaf, and the leaf floated even faster "... By the way, sometimes in the struggle for Thumbelina’s happiness, helpers die (belt - she never untied...). Poor Moth... The symbolic meaning of fairy-tale images: The Son of the Toad is a symbol of a husband who lives to satisfy biological instincts: food - sleep - procreation. The swamp is a symbol of the philistine way of life, which drags in like a quagmire, plunging those caught in it deeper and deeper to the very the bottom of existence. Fish, birds, moths - personal resources: external (specific people) or internal. Result of the relationship: Thumbelina runs away from the evil fat toad with her nasty passive son, who only does what he croaks because he can’t say anything smart .2. Matchmaking of the Beetle - elaboration of the second scenario of a woman's destiny. As the second groom, Thumbelina comes across the same Beetle, who brings her to his tree, like an exotic novelty. The Beetle constantly “hangs out” with various kinds of insects, whose opinion is much more important to him than his own girlfriend . His whole life is a holiday, he lives “here and now”, everything is so easy and simple for him that our heroine is simply fascinated by him. He saves her from a hateful relationship and brings an extravaganza of new colors into her dull world. These relationships are vibrant, filled with events, a clear contrast to the previous ones. Thumbelina would be glad to stay with Zhuk, but somehow it doesn’t work out and he gets bored. She's not what he expected. He looks into his “mouth” and doesn’t know what he wants from life... At first the Beetle was flattered by this, and then... he got tired of it. The image of Thumbelina faded, he no longer wanted to save her every day... In his bright life, there should be extraordinary women. And here - some kind of unformatted trifle... The way of life of the Beetle - according to the patterns of society, according to the authorities, leads to the fact that Thumbelina does not fit into the standards accepted in this society, is recognized as ugly, and is rejected by society and the Beetle. “The Maybug has settled down on a branch of a large tree, sat Thumbelina next to her and told her that he really liked her, although she was not at all like cockchafers. Then other chafers who lived on the same tree came to visit them. They looked at Thumbelina with curiosity, and their daughters spread their wings in bewilderment. “She only has two legs!” - some said. “She doesn’t even have tentacles!” - said others. - How weak and thin she is! Just look, it will break in half,” said still others. “She looks very much like a person, and also ugly,” all the beetles finally decided. Even the cockchafer, who brought Thumbelina, now thought that she was not at all good-looking, and he decided with her say goodbye - let him go wherever he knows. He flew down with Thumbelina and put her on a daisy.” And our Beetle flew away, accompanied by the rustle of iridescent wings, which Thumbelina did not have to fly with him to the sky. “I screwed her up” and abandoned her... It wasn’t easy for her. Having exchanged the swamp for heaven, having felt the taste of life, return to earth again. Into the unknown. Result of the relationship: The new groom refused the “inappropriate match” so as not to ruin himself in the eyes of friends and acquaintances. What does Thumbelina do in the fairy tale? “Thumbelina sat on a flower and cried: she was sad that she was so ugly. Even the cockchafers drove her away! But in fact, she was very cute. Perhaps there was no one better than her in the world." Thumbelina can only sob again, but these tears already signify the second stage of personal development. What does the fairy tale teach? - The tale of Thumbelina is a common example of the fact that even if everything around ( more correctly, the immediate environment) think about something in the same way, this does not mean at all that they think correctly. - Narcissistic self-indulgence and the role of the victim in each of us must one day be replaced by a bitter, but necessary understanding of reality: somewhere you can find yourself a stranger, unattractive, we do not seem ideal to everyone and not everyone is constantly eager for usadmire. In the fairy tale, reality sets in in the most concrete sense - winter, hunger and cold come. And again the heroine is saved, giving another chance. Symbolic meaning of fairy-tale images: The Beetle is a symbol of a husband who adjusts his life to social stereotypes. Other Beetles are a symbol of public opinion. Periods of independent life Period of relative well-being “Thumbelina lived all summer alone in a large forest. She wove a cradle for herself out of grass and hung it under a large burdock leaf to shelter herself from the rain and the sun. She ate sweet flower honey and drank the dew that she found on the leaves every morning.” Period of deprivation and wandering “So summer passed, and autumn passed. A long, cold winter was approaching. The birds flew away, the flowers withered, and the large burdock leaf under which Thumbelina lived turned yellow, dried up and curled up into a tube. The cold penetrated through Thumbelina. Her dress was all torn, and she was so small and tender - how could she not freeze! It began to snow, and each snowflake was for Thumbelina what a whole shovelful of snow was for us. We are big, after all, and she was only an inch tall. She wrapped herself in a dry leaf, but it did not warm at all, and the poor thing was trembling like an autumn leaf in the wind.” Symbolic meaning of fairy-tale periods: The “summer” of life will someday end. Autumn will come, winter will come. If you want to live, then it’s time to be active. Autumn - winter are periods of gaining independence under the pressure of the environment, confronting the realities of life from personal experience. Activation of the internal resources of the individual, development of will. “Thumbelina decided to leave the forest and look for shelter for the winter. Behind the forest in which she lived there was a large field. The grain had long been removed from the field, and only short, dry stalks stuck out from the frozen ground. It was even colder in the field than in the forest, and Thumbelina was completely frozen while she made her way between the dried, hard stalks. Finally, she reached the field mouse’s hole. The entrance to the hole was carefully covered with blades of grass and blades of grass. The field mouse lived in warmth and contentment: its kitchen and pantry were chock full of grains. Thumbelina, like a beggar, stopped at the threshold and asked to give her at least a piece of barley grain - for two days she had not had a crumb in her mouth. - Oh, you poor thing! - said the field mouse (she was, in essence, a kind old woman). Well, come here, warm yourself up and eat with me!” In the fairy tale, Thumbelina meets a wise woman - the Mouse (or develops inner wisdom). The mouse lived its entire life by dragging everything into the house - into its hole, arranging its life on its own and therefore knows the value of things. She undertakes to teach Thumbelina how to live, explaining that for a normal life, she needs a new man, “with money and status,” so that, like the Mouse herself, she does not have to carry all the worries and burdens on her back all her life. Thumbelina is offered a profitable “match” - to marry a very wealthy person, to sell herself “at a higher price”. With him she will live in abundance, but without love. 3. Mole’s matchmaking – elaboration of the third scenario of women’s fate “Soon we will have guests,” a field mouse once told her. - Once a week my neighbor comes to visit me. He is very rich and lives much better than me. He has a big house underground, and he wears a fur coat like you’ve probably never seen - a magnificent black fur coat! Come out, girl, marry him! You won't be lost with him! There’s just one problem: he’s blind and won’t see how pretty you are. Well, at least you’ll tell him the best fairy tale you know.”...Thus, through the efforts of the old benefactress, the patroness of the Mouse (almost a fairy godmother), Thumbelina almost became the wife of a rich old man, visually impaired. The groom, whom many other girls would have grabbed with their hands and teeth, and with whom, perhaps, the cunning old mouse herself would have been happy, was rich, learned and respectable. This last option could even be considered seriously, and, as life shows, many women choose such a union for reasons of survival. Even our fairy-tale heroine, who wouldI am glad to find support in such a fatherly image, I was almost seduced by his reliability and conservatism. Perhaps for some time she really thought that happiness lay in peace and stability. Maybe she doesn’t exist, that Love... Who saw her? What can little Thumbelina do? But Mole is a serious, respected man, and his status deserves a young wife, especially one who is so quiet and submissive, and, by the way, doesn’t eat much... Mole, perhaps, really liked Thumbelina. Her appearance is not important to him; he rather values ​​her ability to tell stories and obedience. Many Thumbelinas at some stage of the relationship really need a “dad,” a “father-man.” The best life partner for a young Thumbelina is a strong, domineering man who will take little account of her opinion and will perceive her... as a fragile flower girl, a charming but decorative creature. Maybe not the best - but safe and comfortable. But our Thumbelina already knows what she truly loves: the sun, the singing of birds - things to which the Mole is blind both literally and mentally. If Thumbelina had married Mole, their relationship would most likely have turned into the story of Alexei and Anna Karenin, without bringing happiness to either spouse. So she showed her firmness at the right time: not wanting to resign herself to a well-fed life in the dungeon, she defended her freedom - and (as we know) in the end she got exactly what she needed. And, as it turned out, she needed a new identity, a new “I”. As for real life, Thumbelina in this part of the fairy tale still corresponds to the archetypal life pattern of the “eternal girl”. Our culture has always condoned this scenario in women. Women were praised for their flexibility, adaptability and kindness, for their youthful charm, for their obedience and submissive cooperation with their husbands - and they became, as it were, “form without content.” The benefits associated with such a scenario are obvious. It is probably very pleasant to experience the feeling that you are adored like a sweet girl, to depend on another person, stronger, who, if necessary, makes important decisions, to blissfully enjoy romantic fantasies about the Prince, to change faces like a chameleon, to be the delight of a man’s soul and gaze, his conqueror hearts, or even escape from life into your inner world of desires and fantasies. However, this feminine lifestyle also has many disadvantages. The role of the “eternal girl,” despite its apparent advantages, often deprives a woman of her independence and forces her to live a passive, dependent life. Instead of pursuing personal and professional growth, working to develop her identity, instead of finding out who she really is through the difficult task of transformation, the “eternal girl” usually forms her identity based on the projections of other people onto her. She is like a fashion model, whose image is defined and brought to life by the photographer's gaze. Instead of strengthening her strength, realizing her own capabilities and at the same time taking responsibility for her actions, the “eternal girl” arrives in a state of helplessness. Men amuse themselves with her, just as she did with her toys as a child. Like a gutta-percha doll, she allows others to make herself and her life as they please. And then he pays for betraying himself: Oh, how I hate My despicable gutta-percha soul, Which, twisted and crumpled by someone else’s hands, endures everything without complaint... (Karin Boyer) Or doesn’t pay... Some women exist quite comfortably in this scenario all their lives, and believe that they are very lucky to look down on the “losers” who earn their own living. How does a woman who is “stuck” in the image of an “eternal girl” usually behave? She plays the role of a kind of “cute, doll-like” creature, a little toy, showing the image that her man wants to see in her (Chekhov’s Darling - remember?), thereby adapting to his fantasies regarding “true femininity.” Outwardly, she seems very happy, successful and, like an all-powerful princess, maybethe envy of many women, embodying their secret desires. But her identity does not develop, remains weak and dependent, since she constantly shows symbols of success to others, and does not really realize who she is and where she is going. In fact, she is a doll, a puppet, an amusement. How many women have lived most of their married lives in this way, being charming companions to their husbands and wonderful housewives in the house, and then, somewhere in the middle of life, were left with nothing - abandoned, on the very low stage of personal development? Any toys sooner or later get boring. “Fear the Danaans who bring gifts...” If a woman tries with all her might to avoid responsibility for her life, to avoid making choices and decisions, by shifting it onto the shoulders of another person, she becomes dependent. And he dies as a person. For each Persephone there is a Hades (Hades), who will kidnap her and drag her into the underworld. Symbolic meaning of fairy-tale images: The Mole is a symbol of a husband who is capable of influencing the existence of others with the help of accumulated resources. Having realized his power, he considers the relationship from the point of view of the purchase and sale agreement - “profitable” - “not profitable.” Result of the relationship: The little heroine did not want to come to terms with it - why does she need all this wealth if she has to live in a hole, deprived of the joy of seeing the sun? Material well-being in a “golden cage”? Thank you, no. Thumbelina runs away again. She can only cry again, but these are no longer tears of fear or whim, but an expression of the feelings of a matured girl, capable of not only showing off, rejecting fans and being an irresponsible victim of circumstances, but also truly loving someone, empathizing, and being grateful. In real life At this stage of life, a woman, as a rule, realizes that it is not enough for her to exist only fulfilling her husband’s wishes and serving as a screen for his projections; it is important for her to understand who she really is, it is important to learn to rely only on herself. Meeting with the Swallow. “Thumbelina saw a dead swallow. The poor bird must have died from the cold. Her wings were pressed tightly to her body, her legs and head were hidden in feathers. Thumbelina felt very sorry for her. She loved these cheerful, light-winged birds so much - after all, they sang wonderful songs to her all summer and taught her to sing. But the mole pushed the swallow with his short paws and grumbled: “What, I suppose she’s quieted down?” Don't you whistle anymore? That’s just it!.. Yes, I wouldn’t want to be such a birdie. All they can do is fly around in the air and chirp. And when winter comes, what should they do? Die, that's all. No, my children won’t have to disappear in the winter from hunger and cold. “Yes, yes,” said the field mouse. - What is the use of this tweeting and chirping? You won't get enough of songs, and chirping won't keep you warm in winter! Thumbelina was silent. But when the mole and the mouse turned their backs to the bird, she bent down to the swallow, parted her feathers and kissed her right on her closed eyes. “Maybe this is the same swallow that sang so wonderfully in the summer,” the girl thought. “How much joy you brought me, dear swallow!” ... “Thumbelina couldn’t sleep at night. She got out of bed, wove a large carpet from dry blades of grass and, making her way into the underground gallery, covered the dead bird with it. Then she found warm fluff and dry moss in the field mouse’s pantry and made something like a nest for the swallow, so that it would not be so hard and cold for her to lie on the frozen ground... “Goodbye, dear swallow,” said Thumbelina. - Goodbye! Thank you for singing your wonderful songs to me in the summer, when the trees were still green and the sun was warming so nicely. And she pressed her head against the silky feathers on the bird’s chest. And suddenly she heard that there was something in the swallow’s chest - Then there was a rhythmic knock: “Knock! Knock!” - at first quietly, and then louder and louder. It was the swallow's heart beating. The swallow was not dead - it was only numb from the cold, but now it was warmed up and came to life. When the girl realized that the bird was alive, she was both happy and scared. Don't be afraid! After all, next to her the swallow seemed like such a huge bird. But stillThumbelina gathered her courage, covered the swallow warmer with her wicker carpet, and then ran home, brought a mint leaf, which she covered herself with instead of a blanket, and wrapped it around the bird’s head...” “The swallow lived all winter in the underground gallery, and Thumbelina looked after her and fed her. and gave her something to drink. She didn’t say a word about this to either the mole or the field mouse - after all, both of them didn’t like birds at all.”...Thumbelina, saving the Swallow, saves herself. Learns responsibility for the life of others and for his own life, shows selfless care. At first, Thumbelina even refuses to fly with the Swallow to warmer climes for fear of upsetting the good old mouse, to whom she owed her life. But, having truly grieved over her still undeveloped life, she refuses peace and contentment in the mole’s house and sets off on a flight into the unknown. In life, a woman at this stage often realizes that in order to understand herself she needs to remain alone , learn to form your own value system and express your own point of view, and not borrow other people’s views or support public opinion. And she makes an important decision - to start living independently, from a “clean slate”... The symbolic meaning of fairy-tale images: The Swallow, at first lifeless (absence of any hope for a different development of fate), and then groomed by Thumbelina - personifies a sublime dream. Swallows are the heralds of spring, the renewal of nature – in this case, renewal of the individual’s psyche. Warm lands are the ideal of existence, happiness, the purpose of life. Flight on a Swallow to warm lands is a manifestation of one’s own will, a conscious change in one’s life. 4. Matchmaking of the Prince of Elves - elaboration of the fourth (ideal) scenario of a woman’s destiny “The Swallow descended and sat the girl on a wide petal. But what kind of miracle? In the cup of the flower there was a small man, so light and transparent, as if he were made of crystal or morning dew. Light wings trembled behind his shoulders, a small golden crown glittered on his head, and he was no taller than our Thumbelina. This was the king of the elves. Never before had he seen such a beautiful girl of the same height as him. He bowed low to her and asked her name. “Thumbelina!” - answered the girl. “Dear Thumbelina,” said the elf, “do you agree to be my wife, the queen of flowers?” Thumbelina looked at the beautiful elf. Ah, he was not at all like the stupid, dirty son of an old toad and the blind mole in a velvet fur coat! And she immediately agreed. Then elves flew out of each flower, chasing each other. They surrounded Thumbelina and presented her with wonderful gifts. But most of all the other gifts, Thumbelina liked the wings - a pair of transparent light wings, just like a dragonfly. They were tied behind Thumbelina's shoulders, and she, too, could now fly from flower to flower. That was joy! - They will no longer call you Thumbelina. We elves have different names,” the king said to Thumbelina. “We will call you Maya!” So, having escaped from the wedding, Thumbelina flies to the land of flowers. If we remember that she was born from a flower, she finds her true home. Here she meets her Prince, who falls in love with her at first sight. Nobody knows about her turbulent life, but Thumbelina is a wise girl, she doesn’t talk too much... Otherwise, her Flower Prince, it’s unknown how he will react to her experience, because he is so subtle and vulnerable. The prince proposes to her and gives her what she has dreamed of all her life - wings for free flight without outside help. Thumbelina also gets a new name. And it is right. Imagine a woman with a name like Ninety Sixty Ninety, Third Number or XL... “Thumbelina” emphasizes only her size (inch), that is, the bodily dimension, appearance, and ignores the spiritual essence. And her husband calls her Maya, because “size is not the main thing.” Maya is the “goddess of spring,” and with this name she begins a new life - and a new fairy tale. The elf gives her everything that the suitors themselves wanted: peace and comfort, recognition in society, reliability and prosperity. And the main thing is what a real husband gives a woman, and nota casual partner - oneself, a worthy place among equals and respect. Symbolic meaning of fairy-tale images: Elves take care of the growth of flowers, serve Nature, beauty. Wings are a symbol of inspiration and inspiration. The result of the relationship: In a fairy tale: Thumbelina marries a handsome prince - and not for the sake of status, but because she finally met someone who shares her outlook on life and is close to her in spirit. At the end of a difficult path, the heroine finds a partner who really suits her, does not use her, but asks if she wants to be with him, and helps her take off. In life: Since Thumbelina is very easy to convince of anything and just as easily to convince her otherwise , then her men can change quite often. In the same way, it is very easy to deceive her by taking advantage of her trust. She is very feminine and sensitive and can interpret any immodest look addressed to her as “he harassed me.” Often she herself does not know what she wants and can fool her suitors not consciously (which other fairy-tale heroines are masters of), but due to changes in feelings and moods. An indomitable craving for a “better lot” prevents her from building relationships with earthly men. She allows admirers to carry her away, but at the moment when a man is sure that Thumbelina is “in his pocket,” she emits a calling cry: “Swallow, dear swallow! ..." and disappears in an unknown direction in search of the Prince of the Elves (and, which is typical: she herself does not even suspect that she is looking for him...). Princes have only one drawback, but, unfortunately, a very significant one - they are very rare in life. Often Thumbelina still manages to marry the Mole, and thus evokes acute pity in the men they meet and a desire to immediately come to the rescue. They appreciate the slightest manifestation of care and attention - probably because they lacked affection and love in childhood. In Thumbelina’s subconscious there lives a myth about the inadmissibility of active actions on the part of a girl, which is taken advantage of by numerous Beetles, Moles and Toads. Having once again been kidnapped by a zealous groom, Thumbelina tries in every possible way to live up to his expectations, even if it’s disgusting and she doesn’t want to... And when some Beetle is disappointed in her, she sighs about Fate and goes to weave a cradle from blades of grass, where she will lie and wait for the next boyfriend... In real life, if chance does not intervene, Thumbelina and the Elf, unfortunately, may never meet each other. The elf is an equally romantically minded, childish and not very active young man (unlike the previous “suitors”, he achieved Thumbelina’s consent by threatening to die on the spot that very second, but he did not take any active steps to find and conquer her). Sexual scenario. Thumbelina in the fairy tale is completely asexual, she is a girl, infantile and fragile. In her toy world, she has not matured into a woman with her own desires and understanding of what she wants from a relationship. There is no need to talk about sex education. All carnal moments in the fairy tale are omitted: it seems that her mother knew nothing about where children usually come from, because the baby came from a flower. A parent's explanation of a series of sexless birth myths: "Where did I come from?" - “They found it in cabbage.” The mother only admired her daughter as a miniature trinket, and could not convey to her the experience of communicating with men. Therefore, the heroine never got rid of timidity and shyness, but she had more than enough sad experiences. So, if you are a man, take the initiative into your strong manly hands and show her love. Otherwise, you risk never getting anything from her that could even be called a passionate night, and at the same time earning yourself a couple of complexes. Forget about... spontaneous sex, sadomasochism, orgies, etc. Patience, tenderness and warmth - that’s what they want from you. Invite Thumbelina to the dacha. Light the fireplace (or, at worst, a potbelly stove), brew mulled wine, wrap her in a blanket - and now she has already forgotten about the scary mole holes and strange frogs, which she has seen quite a lot.

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