If Your Relationship Gets Stalled Here's one important thing to remember in case your relationship gets stuck: When you and your partner find yourself at an impasse, neither of you can reduce your anxiety through adjustments, and neither of you have any acceptable old ways of giving the other validation. Truly affirming your partner during a time of impasse means accepting the fact that he will no longer be able to accommodate you—and you will have to confront yourself. When an impasse occurs, you have few options: Force your partner to go against himself and adapt to you, Surrender to your partner and adapt to him, Separate emotionally or physically, or Confront yourself and become more differentiated. Impasse couples experience these events as "disappearance of love." The paradox is that the ability to love cannot truly develop until the honeymoon period ends and the impasse sets in. A dead end brings you closer to your own core because it pushes you to differentiate. And as you gain more personal experience with your own essence, you become more tolerant of others, including your partner. www.irinafeodoro.ru - 5 steps to yourself. Excerpt from the book “Passionate Marriage” by David Schnarch ( translated by O. Matveev)