From the author: The article was published in the magazine “My Psychologist” No. 3 for 2003, in the magazine “Popular Psychology”, I don’t remember exactly, I think in 2005) ...I’m about ten years old .I am returning from the store with a three-liter can of milk and on the way home I go to Manufactured Goods, there I see a cute rubber toy in the window - either a mouse or a hamster and I really want to buy it. The change left over after buying milk is not enough for a toy, but I keep a jar of copper pennies at home, I come home, get the required amount and return to the store, where I hand the saleswoman a handful of copper. She counts the pennies for a long time, finally, with a careless movement, she pours them into the coin compartment and gives me the mouse. Every family has a certain scheme for handling this multi-valued phenomenon - money, and it is directly related to the general family scenario, it is part of it. How a child will earn and spend money is influenced by the attitude of people from his immediate environment to this process: parents, grandparents, friends and acquaintances of the child. Each parent wants the child to be financially wealthy in the future, to have enough money to satisfy your needs and knew how to earn them, that is, money. The strategies chosen to achieve this goal are very different and for some reason not all lead to the desired goal. I wonder why? On the path to wealth. Desires. The concept of “wealth” is broader than a person’s financial situation. Finance is a part of real wealth, which means a dynamic balance between a person and his environment. A wealthy person is aware of his needs and knows how to interact with the environment in order to achieve their satisfaction. Therefore, when raising a child, we must teach him to listen to his desires, so that in the future he can distinguish them from the desires of other people. It is difficult for a child to express and defend his desire if it does not agree with the wishes of loved ones. I once witnessed the following scene: a grandmother and a boy about 10 years old were standing near a counter with videotapes. From the conversation, I understood that the boy had been given money to buy a cassette, and he wanted to spend it on “Horror Movies.” The grandmother tried to persuade her grandson to buy something more peaceful and calm. There was a conflict of desires. In the end, the grandmother “pushed through” her desire; the boy gave her the money and lost interest in the cassette tape counter. Sometimes during consultations or in conversations with friends, parents complain about their son or daughter: “He doesn’t want anything, he’s not interested in anything!” Perhaps this is exactly the case when a child does not feel his own desires, buried under a pile of strangers - mother, father or friends. It happens that cherished desires come true many years later. As a child, my friend really wanted to have a teddy bear. On her birthday when she was 6 or 7 years old, her parents solemnly promised her that they would buy any toy she wanted. The birthday came and the whole family went to the store. It was the 70s and on the shelves of the toy department there were furry freaks of unknown origin lying, standing and sitting along with plastic dolls. A friend wanted a very specific bear - the kind that is often depicted in children's books, for example in the book of poems by A. Barto. The girl was confused. The parents noticed their daughter's hesitation and began vying to convince her to buy something useful - for example, a warm jacket or dress. The girl realized that there would be no bear, and if she wants to be a good daughter, then she must refuse even the furry freaks - “Why waste money!” That day, the family left the store empty-handed, everyone’s mood was ruined. A friend carried her desire throughout her life and, as an adult, she finally acquired the “right” bear, which is considered her property and even her daughter does not encroach on it. Surely you know adults who, having waited for the desired independence, realize their childhood desires - for example, they buy videos with “ Horrors", eating the unimaginablethe amount of sweets, they don’t wash the dishes for days on end... These people remember their desires from childhood, but how many former children gave in to adult pressure, “bowed in” to the wishes of their relatives and chose the institute “that dad dreamed of going to,” or the groom who Mom liked him. On the way to wealth. Opportunity: Being in touch with your true desires is an important, but not the only part of wealth. It’s good when you know what you want, but you still need to understand how to achieve it. In the language of purchase and sale, this translates something like this: “How to earn money to realize your desires?” In early childhood, a child does not yet understand the meaning of money, and he does not need it - all his desires are fulfilled directly. As the child gets older, he notices that in order to fulfill a desire, he needs to behave in a certain way - for example, be affectionate with his grandmother when he wants her pies, or not quarrel with his sister, hoping for her favor. Soon the child notices that there is a universal equivalent that helps to realize many desires - money, and it seems to me that from the moment of this discovery the child should receive it. In other words, once a child learns to make purchases, it is very important that he has his own money. Of course, at the age of 5-6 he still cannot earn money, and the child receives his first money from his parents. If you don’t have your own finances, then there is no valuable experience in handling them, and later, when money does fall into the hands of the child for some time, he learns how to handle it - plan expenses, accumulate the required amount, spend wisely, etc. It is impossible to learn to read without books, and it is also impossible to learn to handle money without real money. It is also important that money is given to the child regardless of his good behavior, successful studies, etc. In the first case, you risk raising a person who is convenient for others - but how convenient is it for him to be like that?! In the second, the child will be interested not in the process of studying, acquiring knowledge, but in the result - money for good grades. It is also not recommended to give money for doing homework - this is fraught with unpleasant consequences. A friend of mine, in an effort to encourage her children to help around the house, compiled a list of prices for different types of housework. After some time, she was forced to abandon this idea: “This is some kind of nightmare! In the evenings I come home from work - my son and daughter stand with a list of completed tasks, demand payment, argue and quarrel over who should take out the bucket - they almost tear it to pieces (taking out the garbage can, as an unpleasant procedure, is expensive). Without payment, they just won’t lift a finger, they have become petty, as if order in the house, I only need to buy groceries!” Exactly how much the child is given depends on the financial capabilities of the family. It is important that the child still understands the value of this amount, that the parents’ energy and time are spent on earning it and that it is part of the family budget. To gain financial experience, the child needs to manage his own funds independently; parents can advise on what to spend the money on, but the final decision is up to the child, otherwise the whole idea of ​​gaining experience is profaned. The amount should be constant, for example, 50 rubles per week, and if it is spent, the child receives nothing until the next due date. If your child spends the entire amount received for the week on chewing gum or stickers, do not bother him, he is gaining experience in how to manage money. When a child enters adolescence and spends a lot of time with peers, it is advisable to give him an amount comparable to the “earnings” of his friends . If your child has significantly less money than his friends, he will feel awkward, but if there is much more money, your son or daughter risks becoming a “Cash Cow” for less wealthy children, as well as provoking them to steal. Naturally, it is necessary encourage a teenager’s desire to earn money, if this does not harm his health and main activity –studies. A teenage girl can easily babysit a neighbor’s child for money, and a boy can earn money by walking other people’s dogs or delivering pizza - together with your teenager, come up with ways that are suitable for both of you.. Strategies for financial solvency. The world of adults. Psychologists from Novosibirsk Gorlova M.F. and Efimkina R.P. describe several strategies for financial solvency. They draw an analogy between the processes of digestion and earning and spending money. “Parents first teach the child to eat food, and then they must teach him to catch and eat food in the “social jungle,” that is, to be able to plan, earn and spend money optimally. By how the digestion process goes, you can understand whether the child is healthy or not. In the same way, by how an adult deals with money, you can understand whether he is wealthy or not.” Next, the authors identify eight financial strategies that depend on three main parameters: how much a person plans to earn, how much he actually earns, and how much and what he spends on. Strategy 1 - “Gorka”. This strategy belongs to a person who earns more than he plans and spends little. In a food metaphor, it sounds like this: “I have a poor appetite, I can get a lot of food, but I am starving.” These people are not aware of their real capabilities, do not believe in their own high value, and need support for their own importance from another person. They are used to making do with little and do not have access to their real needs. The money that the “slides” earn goes to the people who are next to them - these are the “pits”. !! Strategy 2 – “Pit”!!!! This is a person who plans to earn a lot, earns almost nothing in reality and at the same time spends a lot. In fiction, this is Ellochka the cannibal (“The Twelve Chairs”), who has the highest demands, does not work herself and spends the entire salary of her husband, an engineer.!! Among male characters, this is Khlestakov (“The Inspector General” by N.V. Gogol), who has exorbitant requests, lives at someone else's expense and spends money at the first opportunity. The problem of the “pits” is the inability to earn money, and therefore, financial dependence on a partner, whom they are forced to emotionally support in order not to die of hunger. Strategy 3 – “Bottom”. The owners of this strategy plan to earn a very large amount of money, but in reality they earn nothing and don't spend anything. The famous Russian proverb: “It flowed down my mustache, but didn’t get into my mouth” - this is about them. These people do not know how to get food and do not know how to eat, which is why they experience severe hunger. As a rule, these are bright personalities with an extraordinary character who have failed to realize their potential. Among the literary heroes, these are Pushkin’s Masha from Dubrovsky and Tatyana from Eugene Onegin - at the end of the works, instead of living, full of energy, passionate women, we see frozen creatures who have lost their taste for life, sacrificing themselves in the name of duty. 4 strategy - “ Descent.” This strategy is similar to the previous one in that its owners also plan to earn a lot of money, but in reality they earn about half and spend little. The positive difference from the “Bottom” is that the people of the “Descent” still know how to earn money. In the first case, “the patient is more likely dead than alive,” in the second case, “more likely alive than dead.” The similarity of both strategies is that their owners are not able to eat, that is, spend money on themselves, therefore they experience severe hunger, that is, they have high demands. They deny themselves the satisfaction of their needs, hoping for better things in the future. The need requires implementation in the present. Thus, these people are dissatisfied with the present and are afraid of the future - what if the dream never comes true!? 5 strategy - “Rise.” People with this strategy plan to earn little, in reality they earn twice as much, but spend even more. This strategy reflects the phenomenon of “beggarly” consciousness, when a person does not see his real needs, underestimates them and lives for today without taking the trouble to plan his future. In thisthe strategy has a hint of criminality, since you can only spend more than you have by borrowing money, and sooner or later the debts will have to be repaid. The old woman from “The Tale of the Fisherman and the Fish” could have had such a strategy - she doesn’t understand her needs well, at first she thinks that a trough is enough for her to be happy, then she doesn’t even have enough of a palace. In the metaphor of food, it looks like this: “I don’t feel hungry, but I eat my food and my neighbor’s food.”6 “Plain” strategy. Owners of this strategy earn exactly as much as they plan and spend everything they have. If they plan to earn a lot, then if we draw an analogy with the body, this is “diarrhea”, “everything I eat flies out of my body without stopping.” This strategy does not provide the opportunity for accumulation, development and deprives a person of insurance for a “rainy day” . If a person plans to earn little, then this is close to the statement “I don’t need anything, I don’t earn anything and I don’t spend anything,” in the metaphor of food this is “starvation.” Both options are similar in that such a strategy leads to ruin. Both diarrhea and starvation deplete the body to the same extent. Among literary heroes, the late Plyushkin from N.V. Gogol’s “Dead Souls” had a similar strategy.7 “Break” strategy. These are people who plan to earn a lot of money, they really know how to do it, but They don’t spend them on anything. In a food metaphor, it sounds like this: “I do not eat, although I get a lot of food and have a good appetite.” But if you look closely, it is not the owner of the “break” strategy who has a good appetite, but his parasites, that is, the person spends money not on his own needs, but on the needs of loved ones or organizations that he does not separate from himself, which the “Norma” strategy considers his own8 “People with this strategy adhere to the following statement: “I know how much I need - I earn as much as I need, I spend in such a way that there is a reserve for unforeseen circumstances.” The needs of such a person are real, he has an idea of ​​his own capabilities and a sense of proportion in meeting his needs. In search of a suitable strategy. The world of children. It is very interesting to observe how children manage money in a psychological game. The initial conditions are the same for everyone, but for some reason children use them completely differently, and how the child’s financial experience acquired in the family is reflected in a distorting mirror... So - there is a separate state with its own currency, in which there are several ways to earn money . You can take a government position as a newspaper editor and cover events happening in the country. You can become a store director and make money from the difference between the wholesale price (the one at which the goods are issued by the Ruler of the country) and the retail price - at which the residents of the state buy the goods. You can come up with many of your own ways to make money - renting books or games brought from home; conducting dance or sports lessons, giving lectures, selling one’s own drawings, etc. The money earned is spent in a state store, where you can buy chips, Coca-Cola, chewing gum, etc. that are so beloved by children. The country has a system of fines for violating the Laws countries - for example, for fights, causing moral or material damage to the residents of the country, etc. At the end of the game, an Auction is held, where children buy various amulets related to events taking place in the country, or personal belongings of citizens. The financial strategies that children choose very clearly represent their individual characteristics, refracted through the experience gained in the family and close circle. Larisa 10 She works a lot for years, spends almost no money - her goal is to buy a necklace she likes at the Auction. The girl is worried that she may not have enough money and is trying to work more and more and reduce expenses to zero. Her life credo is to defeat everyone, Larisa cannot allow anyone to beat her at the Auction, for her this is tantamount to defeat. For an observer from the outside, Larisa is a workaholic, but subjectively she is not