Proactive behavior is the ability to build your speech, your behavior and your thinking based on the fact that you yourself determine your experiences, your actions and your results. That is, you are the cause of what happens to you. When it comes to proactive behavior, it is important to separate three phenomena into corners: closedness, trust and abdication of responsibility. Closedness is the habit of restraining one’s thoughts and experiences within oneself in order to avoid troubles or to obtain maximum benefit in current situations. The point is this. Closed people are difficult to understand, difficult to predict, and difficult to piss off. Their closed nature gives them the opportunity to observe and think whatever they want about others. But! Closedness does not allow you to actively influence other people, because influence is based on the use of emotions - and this treasure trove is inaccessible to closed people. Another disadvantage is that you have to pay for being closed with chronic internal tension, which is depleting by definition. Trust. From the word “trust”. That is, actively opening yourself up to achieve your life goals in the areas of success and (especially) happiness. The basis of trust is the ability (namely the ability) to freely share your thoughts, feelings, needs and motives when you want to influence others or protect yourself from external influence. By trusting the world, you take a certain risk. After all, by opening cards, you give others the opportunity to touch your heartstrings. In theory. In practice, the only way to get under your skin is by opening up (and trusting) in return. And mutual trust is already a condition for full cooperation. Trust implies that you feel that you can reflect the opinions of others that differ from your own. You know how to repel criticism and manipulation. You live openly and strive to live here and now. Shifting responsibility. From the word “trust”. That is, trust yourself to someone. To understand the essence of the difference between “I trust” and “I trust”, it is necessary to remember who is responsible for the realization of their needs. Let's say you've created a relationship. And you have a need for recognition, attention and communication. Is it possible to realize these needs on your own WITHOUT the participation of another person (or people)? No, and that's obvious. No justification required. Should your relationship partner fulfill your needs because he/she is in a relationship with you? Or because he loves you? No, and it's far from obvious. The rationale is as follows. The needs of two people cannot completely coincide (all people are different, the volume of needs is also different). The needs of two people can rarely be realized at the same time (any resource is limited + the volume of needs is again different). Needs can be exchanged (for example, wealth, for recognition and attention, or communication for safety, etc.), but exchange is the result of a conscious decision (and it is always under pressure from emotions and circumstances). And finally, the fulfillment of needs is a very subjective thing. If you deviate a little to the side in the “I trusted you” process, then immediately a place for emotions, manipulation and conflicts arises. Or addiction (the one when my happiness depends on the actions of another person). Yes, this model can work. But only if your partner is satisfied, conscious, competent and has the strength and desire to take care of you. How often does this combination occur in real life? Decide for yourself... Now practice. By and large, if we are talking about psychological influence, then we can say the following: Each person influences another person with his opinion, emotions and behavior. Psychological trust is approximately equal to trust. Therefore, in order to trust someone you should follow the following path. Step 1. Share your thoughts. That is, speak your mind every time you have the opportunity. Regardless of how close the person is next to you. Share your guesses,: