From the author: The first thing to do in any unclear situation is to get your bearings and understand where we are. This is what we will do. To determine your location, you need to answer the question “What problem am I solving now?” In the process of consulting, I often come across hardworking, purposeful, responsible people who, at some point in their lives, have a mess in their heads and are completely confused about what to do next. Quite quickly during the counseling process it is possible to understand that such a person is simultaneously trying to solve multidirectional problems. He is torn by this, he naturally cannot cope, but he believes that this is because there is something wrong with him, he is not trying hard enough. The fact that it is simply impossible - to go forward and backward at the same time - does not occur to the purposeful and responsible :) The described phenomenon in other words is called internal conflict, and there is a clear technique for working with it within the framework of psychological consultation. But since I am setting myself a different task, I will not describe this technique now. I will describe one of the options on what you can do to clarify the current situation for yourself without turning to a psychologist, in case it will be useful for someone :) So, let's go back to the beginning. I will describe possible symptoms of internal conflict: - Anxiety, - Confusion, - Fatigue, - Tension, - A feeling of dissatisfaction (which persists even with the successful solution of the assigned tasks) - Despair, - Powerlessness, - which turns into apathy and indifference. If you nodded your head affirmatively 4 or more times, having recognized the experiences that are familiar to you - this is probably about you. The first thing to do in any incomprehensible situation is to navigate the area and understand where we are. This is what we will do. To determine your location, you need to answer the question “What problem am I solving now?” Tasks can be very different, but fundamentally, to begin with (and we are just at the very beginning) they can be divided into 2 classes: Mining and settling. Two modes of existence . The difference between them is how a specific person builds his relationship with the world and environment in a specific situation. To get. When I get a place for myself, then it, my place, is not a given. I decide the question of my existence, and whether I have the right to this. From the global “Do I have the right to occupy a place on Earth and breathe the common air?”, to specific professional, everyday, interpersonal “Do I have the right to be called a professional?”, “Do I deserve to be this man’s wife?”, girlfriend these friends, the right to rest, the right to look something, etc. I will describe 4 main strategies of behavior characteristic of the acquisition stage: Workaholic, warrior/avenger, fraudster/invisible, electron. Workaholic. They earn the right to take their place. “No rest and relax, I am valuable only as long as I am doing something useful.” As a result, there are mountains of things to do and there is no time to rejoice at achievements, because joy is a waste of time. They walk quickly, speak quickly, think quickly. It seems that only one task is unrealistic for them - to slow down. Because time waits for them. Warrior/Avenger: They prove their right to place. They usually do this in an active, assertive manner, and this general mood can repel others. They appeal to rules, norms, the letter of the law. If this fails, they often get offended and choose a strategy of revenge: “I’ll teach them a lesson, prove that this is not so, they will regret it.” Those. essentially rejects the first and tries to become completely not in need of anyone. The catch is that in our culture this image of an independent, self-sufficient person is supported, and therefore such attempts can drag on for a long time, leading a person away from reality - the experience of being out of place. Fraudster/Invisible Man: They agree that they have no place, but since it is extremely desirable, they occupy it in a “deceptive” way. The method can be active - to create the desired image of oneself, to play someone who has a place (a fraudster). And can be passive - do the minimum