Self-doubt is a very common phenomenon in our time. Without exaggeration: thousands of people every day do not make the right choices, do not do good and pleasant deeds, do not make acquaintances, deny themselves communication, new beginnings and high earnings only because all these people don’t believe in... What, in the end?... Typical answers: “That I will succeed”, “That they will want to communicate with me”, “In what I can”... In reality, there is only one exact answer: “In myself.” After all, man is the OWNER of his actions. If there is self-confidence, a person will act, learn, make mistakes, but as a result he will be able to. Just to get started, you need confidence. Causes of self-doubt The main cause of self-doubt is the harmful suggestions given to us in childhood or adolescence by people close and authoritative to us. There are three types of harmful suggestions. Direct harmful suggestions are phrases like: “you won’t succeed”, “don’t even try”, “you’re not capable”, “where are you going”, “you’ll be a fool all your life, dragging your feet”, “here you will ruin your health”...Indirect harmful suggestions: “at least whatever job you need, so that you don’t die of hunger” (implicit suggestions: “you won’t find a decent job”, “you can die of hunger”), “you don’t need any kind of husband” (implicit suggestions: “you are ugly”, “you won’t find a good husband”), and other insidious phrases in the same spirit. Situational suggestions: actions that have a suggestive power. For example, when a mother speaks to her 18-year-old son with the intonation that is usually used to speak to a 5-year-old toddler, with an excess of tenderness and diminutive endearment, she inspires him (without knowing it herself, of course) that he is small and helpless. When parents do for their children what the children can do for themselves, with their excessive care they inspire in them that they are not able to cope with these actions. A large number of such “services” can convince a child that he is weak and is not able to live life without his parents. This is how infantility arises (a lag in psychological development), the basis of which is the same uncertainty. All other reasons for self-doubt (lack of experience, excessive reflection, etc.) are secondary and depend on the main one. The secret of creating confidence Why close and authoritative do people give us harmful suggestions? Do they really wish us harm? Of course not. They want the best - to protect, help, advise, warn. The trouble is that they do not know a simple fact: language itself is a powerful hypnotic tool. And if you use it incorrectly or carelessly, you can do a lot of harm instead of benefit. For example, create a deep inferiority complex. The ancients knew about the power of words, and unlike us, they treated words with great care and respect. Why do you think that in many traditional cultures there were strict punishments for any swear words? The ancients knew that language is a “magical instrument”, and words are always a kind of “spell”. They DO affect people. And if you want you and your loved ones to be confident in yourself, act as follows. When trying to warn about trouble, protect and warn, follow a simple formula: When talking about what you should not do (warning), be sure to also talk about actions, that will help a person achieve the desired, useful and pleasant effect: • Talk about wrong actions that can lead to a negative result. Example: “If you smoke cigarettes, you may have health problems.” • Immediately talk about the correct options for action that can lead to the DESIRED, desired result. Example: “And if you quit smoking and engage in light, enjoyable sports, you can feel great and earn much more.” If you do this, you will actually place a positive instruction in the person’s subconscious that will help him not only avoid trouble, but.