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From the author: the article will be useful both to young people who decide to get married, and, of course, to their parents - regardless of whether they agree with their children’s marriage or against it. In the first part of the article, we touched on an important topic, associated with the rejection of any of the relatives of the future newlyweds of their desire to get married. Indeed, family life can develop differently for different couples, and for some it does not start out quite smoothly. Often, a negative attitude of one of the parents towards the marriage of their children serves as a serious obstacle to a happy family life. In different cultures, parents are assigned a different role in the life of a young couple in terms of the degree of closeness and the degree of their influence on each other. From complete submission to parents and dependence on their decisions (in the East) to barely noticeable and completely unburdensome formal meetings at the Christmas table (in the West). Russian culture in this sense is very heterogeneous: everything depends on the specific family, local traditions, religion, as well as on the material and social status of the couple. One way or another, in our country only in rare cases can parents really prevent the marriage of their children, but they are able destroy it. Here we need to talk about the heightened sense of contradictions in the family, when neither side wants to listen to each other, everyone tries to insist on their opinion and their point of view. This is how either parental egoism or their child’s “under-experienced” adolescence is expressed - the desire to do things their own way, out of spite, to demonstrate to the “ancestors” their adulthood and the ability to “make decisions on their own” at any cost. As a rule, such a confrontation arises if the child was overprotected by parents who pinned some hopes on him. This is the very case when excessive parental love leads to negative consequences. Such parents, along with the prospect of accepting a stranger into their family, cannot always realize that everything has changed: they have no longer controlled the fate of their child. The conflict that arises in these cases will intensify until someone says: I accept someone else’s rules of the game. Either the parents will compromise, or their child will. In such a war, a peaceful outcome is unlikely; it requires either professional consultation with a psychologist or the most “adult” approach of the participants in the conflict. What is “adulthood” and what needs to be done in such a situation? First, evaluate it soberly. In any case, quarrels are unlikely to play into your hands. You need to gain patience, tact, and try to talk frankly with your parents. It must be remembered that if you talk with aggression or pressure, relatives will begin to defend themselves and respond in the same vein. It is better to wait until the parents calm down, and then start the discussion again, but more calmly. Secondly, it is necessary to listen to the parents themselves; they, of course, have a priority right to this. Their arguments may really surprise you. Maybe they misunderstood the words of your potential son-in-law or daughter-in-law or did not appreciate the seriousness of your intentions. You need to talk calmly and quickly; you should not drag out an already joyless conversation for many hours. Treat with understanding the assessment of the situation that your relatives will present, and be sure to tell them about it! Don't try to contradict or prove that you are right. Communication can get quite tense, so don't take any harsh words to heart. As was said earlier, behind categorical disagreement most often lies unconscious fear, and your task is to find out what your loved ones are so afraid of. Of course, this may require professional psychological skills, however, such a simple question as “Mommy, my dear, what are you so afraid of?” can turn her aggression into sadness and radically change the direction, content and outcome of the entire conversation. In addition, one…

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