It’s good when your sweetheart is nearby... Nearby, I said! Have you heard this saying? Or maybe you’ve encountered something like this in life, when partners are together all the time, they don’t spill the water: they live together, sleep together, eat, relax, work together. And they never separate. On the one hand, it’s wonderful when a couple can spend quality time together, this fulfills one of the deepest human needs for intimacy. But if this is too much, then problems will inevitably begin to arise in the relationship. It's like eating your favorite dish. My friend has his own pastry shop, he makes cakes, the taste of which makes your head spin, and your facial muscles clench with pleasure. So, the first piece of this cake is a heavenly delight, the second is mmm, a delicious cake, the third is difficult to eat, and the fourth may make you sick. Do you know what I mean? Also in relationships. If in them the partners do not periodically move away from each other, then it turns out like with the fourth piece of a delicious cake: the cake seems delicious, but for some reason it makes you sick. If the partners do not move away, then a real meeting cannot happen, because there is no one to meet, partners stuck together. Thus, novelty and brightness gradually disappear from relationships, and they are replaced by routine, boredom and irritation. You become more and more focused on your partner's shortcomings and less and less appreciative of the good things about him that you once admired about him. This is how the law of satiety works. Personal space for healthy, strong relationships is needed just like air is needed for a fire to flare up. Meeting and separation is like the breath of a relationship, without exhalation there cannot be an inhalation, and without separation there cannot be a real meeting full of newness and joy. In my program for couples “Intimacy and Partnership” I help partners learn not only to spend quality time together, but also quality time separately, which is equally important. And then, after everyone has filled up and rebooted, how joyful it is to meet again and continue to move through life together and get to know each other again. Share what you lack in relationships, intimacy or autonomy? Sincerely, Your psychologist Anton Ustinov If you want to analyze your individual case and find a solution, then sign up for a consultation Telegram, WhatsApp +7 926 010 80 82