Many people probably remember the children's game that begins like this: “black and white, don’t take, and don’t say no...”. In real life, this game has long found its admirers, only the rules have changed somewhat. There is only one condition left: “don’t say no.” After all, saying “no” is unpleasant for both the speaker and the listener. Some consider this a sign of bad manners. You can refuse, of course, only in such a veiled way that a feeling of agreement is created. Who likes to hear “no” said directly to your face. Therefore, it is often disguised with all sorts of equivocations and understatements. And for some, it’s simply unbearable to say this sacramental “no.” And “yes” seems to break out of the frightened subconscious. And this brings such confusion and confusion that it’s time to grab your head. The counterpart, seeing agreement, begins to rely on it as complete and reliable. Although, in essence, this is just a deferred “no”, fearfully lurking in the reluctance to openly indicate one’s position, to defend one’s opinion and the reluctance to get involved in all these intricacies. And the one who said “yes”, keeping “no” in mind, poisons himself from within with endless worries on this occasion, the negative consequences of his retreat from his own interests and defending his selfhood and self-awareness. Complaining and appealing for justice, accusing the unsighted of the fact that, having heard “yes”, he accepted his name and did not telepathically look for the underlying reasons, this conciliator and settler achieves only one thing - distortion of reality. Say what you feel, yes or no . You should not replace your own open personal position by moving aside. Who benefits from these disguises? Yes, there are none. On the one hand, a pseudo-sparing evader, on the other hand, a misled interlocutor. In this way, you can confuse not only another, but also yourself become entangled in this system of silences and deferred “nos,” building around yourself not real responsible relationships, but castles of illusions and disappointments. I just want to exclaim: be honest and adequate, don’t push yourself and others into a world of illusory consent and distorted positions. By the way, a safe user strategy on the Internet also assumes “no” as the preferred answer to endless requests to allow installation, open access, accept an invitation, etc. Author's blog on LiveJournal Author's channel on Telegram