In this article we will look at how to build harmonious relationships with others, starting from the saleswoman in the store opposite your home, to people close and valuable to us. Many people have problems that their relationships do not bring pleasure and joy. This is especially painful when it comes to relationships with your husband (wife), with your boss (or work colleagues), with children or parents. The closer a person is to us, the more we experience the quarrels, resentments, and misunderstandings that arise. Everyday communication with people who are of little importance to us is also often the cause of a bad mood. For example, if you were “cheated” in a store or insulted on public transport, this is unlikely to add positive emotions, and in extreme cases it can even ruin your mood for the whole day. Usually, all these and many other problems in relationships with others arise when the roles we play in them are mixed, the boundaries of the individual are violated and the very essence of the relationship is replaced. Let's look at the three main types of relationships. Three types of relationships: Commercial or formal relationships. Relationships with authority, power. Equal relationships. 1) Commercial relationships are built on clear and strict agreements. They are mutually beneficial and do not imply strong emotional involvement. The basis of a good business is built precisely on such relationships, between business partners, buyer and seller, customer and contractor. The essence of these relationships is mutually beneficial exchange. 2) Relationships with authority are perhaps the first of all relationships that we learn to build. They manifest themselves in the fact that there is a role for a person who knows and can do more and a role for someone who learns from him, adopting his experience and knowledge. In childhood, the role of authority in relation to us was played by our parents, educators and teachers. In adult life, an authority can be, for example, a person from whom we learn something completely new, in which we have no experience at all. We can also be authorities for our children or those we teach. Such relationships are characterized by complete control on the part of one person and dependence on the part of the other. 3) Equal relationships for the most part consist of establishing a certain agreement between people that allows maintaining a balance between the needs and desires of each party. Such relationships do not cause dependence of one on the other, but are not commercial, where there is a large distance. An example is the relationship between a man and a woman, friends, colleagues at work. In these relationships, our interests and needs cannot be fully satisfied, since we need to take into account the needs of the other, which may not coincide with ours. Therefore, we resort to compromise, that is, partial satisfaction of our needs. If we transfer this division of relationships to our lives, then in most cases we will be able to determine where and in what form we would like our relationships to stand. Also, using the typology described above, we can easily see how those around us or we sometimes confuse those roles that are adequate in the current situation. For example, when raising a child when he is small, the role of an authority figure that one can look up to is important. But when we talk about adolescence, it is important to gradually build equal relationships that teach independence and acceptance of responsibility. If for some reason roles are changed in the parental family, then later in adult life a person may face many difficulties both in relationships and in the personal sphere. I talk about this in detail in the “Inner Resource of Confidence” training, so here I am only emphasizing the great significance of our past experience, the roots of which go back to childhood. Another example of role mixing occurs quite often at work. Initially, the working relationship is of a commercial nature, an employee of the company, a seller).