From the author: An article about how we run away from problems, trying to convince others and ourselves that they don’t really exist. If we avoid all the problems , then you will find yourself right on the edge of the abyss. Jewish saying When we face a problem, our life changes. It’s like a bucket of cold water poured on us by someone unexpectedly from around the corner. Such a “well-wisher” can be either a very specific person or simply a series of life circumstances. But the fact remains that we have learned that something is wrong with us. For example, a consistently shocking moment (not like a bucket of water of course) is watching videos with your own participation. Especially if a person sees it for the first time. “What a horror!”, “Is it me who moves like that?”, “It can’t be that my voice sounded like that!” - something like this reaction often occurs just at the sight of oneself from the outside. And someone will be quite shocked by the fact that the current relationship in which he is in is in many ways not satisfactory for his partner. Similar things can happen at work, when a person considers himself an excellent employee, but according to his superiors, he is at risk. Others believe that they have absolute health, continuing to engage in activities that are “subversive” to the body in the form of regular libations, unhealthy food, or working 80 hours a week. And then they wonder, “why did this suddenly grab me?” In any case, when something happens that pulls us out of the blissful state of ignorance, we feel anxiety, and sometimes even pain and suffering. But when the initial shock wears off, we are faced with a choice: start looking for a solution or simply accept it. Although it seems that there is a third option: actively deny the existence of the unwanted, convincing yourself that it really does not exist. The last option is nothing more than playing hide and seek with the problem. Below I tried to describe the main ways of such a game when a person, even when faced with facts, he begins to make attempts to get away from the problem. 1. “I’m fine.” This, in fact, is the situation when someone repeats like a mantra that “everything is fine with him.” They ignore obvious facts and close their eyes to some manifestations of the problem. Its presence in the world map of such a person is considered very terrifying and wrong, therefore it is easiest and most reliable to admit that nothing bad exists. 2. Blaming other people and circumstances. Here, if the existence of the problem is not denied, as in the previous paragraph, then quickly those responsible for what happened are found. Moreover, they are all from the outside: “there is not enough time”, “the partner pays little attention”, “the boss is a despot”, “the crisis in the country”... The person takes a surprisingly active position, sometimes even too much, which was not typical for him before .3.Irritability, anger. This point has a lot in common with the previous one. Only in addition to the verbal-logical explanation, strong emotions are now used. Irritation and anger are examples of reactions to attempts to prove or explain to a person that there is a problem. Someone who was previously quiet and calm can now suddenly “flare up” and even raise their voice. 4. Switching attention to another problem. In this case, everything happens more calmly or even gently. Someone “diplomatically” shifts the conversation to another, more important, in his opinion, topic: “Yes, that’s okay, but did you hear what happened at the Petrovs?..” Thus, the importance of the original problem is, as it were, accidentally devalued. 5. Avoidance contacts with certain people. Avoiding the problem can be almost literal. A person reduces to zero communication with those who can somehow remind about a painful issue or ask a pointed question. Others, even relatively close acquaintances, can quickly be relegated to the category of “inconvenient” people. Indeed, why communicate with those who can cause discomfort? The logic of behavior here is completely obvious. 6. Search for counterexamples. Another quite possible option is when a person looks for and finds evidence that the signs