Recently, in my consultations, requests from parents on issues of child aggression or adolescent aggression have become frequent. For obvious reasons, parents prohibit their children from showing aggression, wanting to model their exemplary behavior. In some cases and circumstances this is necessary. However, we must remember that in this way, the direct outlet of aggression is blocked. Aggression has a property - if you forbid it to be expressed, then it does not disappear anywhere, the child does not stop experiencing it, does not stop getting angry. It's like drinking fluids and not going to the toilet. Therefore, if aggression does not come out, then it goes against oneself: “I’m angry, I’m bad, they don’t love me, they don’t understand me.” When a direct outlet for aggression is not available, children, in addition to destructive behavior, may also exhibit: - phobias or fears; - psychosomatic diseases, for example, skin diseases, bronchial asthma, frequent viral infections; - fear or reluctance to go out for a walk on the playground, in the yard, to make friends and play with other children. What to do in such a situation? It is impossible not to notice, and it is also impossible to block children’s and adolescent aggression. It is important to teach your child to understand his feelings: what I feel (I draw your attention to “feel”, not “do”); when I feel this and why, and teach the child to understand what to do with these feelings. For example, most parents know the situation when a teenager returns home late. He was told to be home at 10 pm, but he arrived 2 hours later. The parent is outraged, the teenager responds by aggressively expressing his opinion. What to do about this? Parents can be understood, because they are not doing this out of harm, setting a target hour for the child to return home. But the child also has his own reasons for this, which seem to him to be quite justified. However, the child does not know all the components of this issue, hence the aggressive reactions, hence the parental mistakes. Talking with modern children is not as easy as it might seem at first glance. There must be a dialogue, simple and concise. And it’s also important what form of dialogue you choose. It may not work out the first time, don’t despair, don’t fall into angry reactions and nervous states, take care of your health, try again. You also need to learn a little about this. In practice, it is known that not all parents succeed in this, and then a psychologist can help you. This is specific serious parental work: prepare for a conversation with your child or attract help from a psychologist if you feel that the situation is getting out of control. The main thing here is not to overdo it, but to find a middle ground, i.e. the third state between “good” and “bad”, otherwise there will be a bias in upbringing that will not allow your child to develop.