I'm not a robot

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I'm not a robot

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Privacy - Terms

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Many people divide feelings into bad and good, based on what society, parents, grandparents say, or guided by the considerations “Pleasant-unpleasant”. So, often, for example, anxiety or fear or anger are considered unpleasant, or even indecent, feelings that should not be experienced. For example, in childhood, girls are often told: “You shouldn't be angry. You’re a girl,” and to boys: “Men don’t cry,” or “Instead of suffering, I would punch you in the face.” Often a child sees that in a dangerous situation, for example, on the road, a parent begins to scream and swear. Meanwhile, in fact, this parent is afraid of the impending danger. But fear is suppressed as an unacceptable feeling and replaced with anger. Meanwhile, there are only four genuine, real feelings. These are fear, anger, joy and sadness, as well as their derivatives and varieties, such as anxiety, sadness, grief, delight, aggression and others. These are the feelings that a child experiences in the first years of his life and expresses them freely, and these are also the feelings that exist in the wild. Such feelings are called authentic, and they are designed to adapt the psyche to changing environmental conditions, as well as to signal something that is happening to you in connection with these changes. For example, fear signals danger. And, if there were no fear, then a person would not be able to respond to danger in a timely manner and protect himself. Anxiety keeps you on your toes and does not allow you to relax where you need to be “on alert.” Anger allows you to protect yourself, assert your rights, and set boundaries. Sadness allows you to survive unpleasant events, adapt to what is inevitable without going crazy, and also signals that something is not good for a person. Joy allows you to understand what is good for you, what brings pleasure and satisfaction from life, what is pleasant, what makes you feel happy. There are also other feelings, such as resentment, guilt, envy, jealousy and many others. Such feelings are called racketeering. They are learned in nature and are not genuine, real. These are the feelings that a person “learns” to experience under the influence of society. For example, a child comes home from school, where he received a “4” grade. The real feeling he feels is the joy of a good grade. But his parents greet him with the words: “Why not “5”? What about Vasya? Ah, Vasya has a “5”! Why does Vasya have a “5” and you have a “4”?! Thus, parents demonstrate to the child that his true, real, authentic joy has no right to exist. The next feeling that appears in a child when faced with such questions and statements is anger. But the child already knows that he cannot be angry with his parents, and he replaces these feelings with a feeling of guilt, resentment towards his parents, or a feeling of envy towards Vasya. In this way, the child learns not to notice what he really feels and to replace his true feelings with feelings that are comfortable and accepted in society. All this alienates a person from himself and ultimately leads to the fact that he no longer knows where he really is , and where not, what he really wants and what he doesn’t want, what is good for him and what is bad, what he likes to do and what he doesn’t like. Also, a person becomes incapable of building truly close relationships, because... intimacy involves expressing your true feelings and knowing your true self. Relationships are built manipulative and gaming, in which both partners do not feel satisfied. And from here various negative consequences follow. Understanding and the ability to analyze your own, genuine feelings gives a lot. Firstly, it gives you an understanding of yourself, your characteristics, inclinations, true desires and needs. Secondly, it allows you to find your calling in life, to be realized in your profession and creative activity. Thirdly, it allows you to build real loved ones».

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