I’ve been meaning to write this article for a long time. From time to time I thought that there was no reason for this, but sometimes work literally pushed me. So. A little about awareness and its difference from utilitarianism. Awareness is a value, it is a resource in order to achieve a goal, not to be afraid of reality, to develop the mind and body. Psychologists advise, knowledgeable people wish each other to “live consciously.” This approach is combined with essentialism: when a person chooses what he needs, achieves or achieves it, and what he does not need or needs, but not for him, is easily let go of life. Holding a tit in your hand is easier than catching and supporting a crane . But even when you want a crane, you need to consciously deal with your desires and capabilities, save resources in a timely manner and make careful efforts. “I am aware of the capabilities of my body, my needs, desires, requests, limitations... and I share them. I share dreams and goals, prohibitions and restrictions, whim and necessity. I divide and rule over myself.” The same happens in other important areas of life. “For every request I have, for every life event, there is a person who will respond to my information in the best way for me.” Sometimes it happens that you need sympathy from your interlocutor, sometimes sarcasm, sometimes analytical analysis, sometimes uncontrollable optimism. Therefore, it is absolutely normal to have a special friend or girlfriend to analyze relationships at work, to talk about the opposite sex, to dream about the future, to recover from an insult or a hard day at work... You cannot get these various reactions from one person. At the same time, different forms of reactions may be required from the same person. When there is no emotional or moral readiness to hear condemnation, it is possible and natural to request a specific reaction. For example: “So and so offended me, that’s why I’m so sad. But I don’t want to analyze our communication with him now. I just need some support, give me a hug.” Or “My boss is putting pressure on me at work. I decided to change jobs, but I don't want to be dissuaded. Please come to terms with this. I know that this poses certain problems for me, but I will solve them. If you can't support me, then at least don't judge me.” Is this approach utilitarian towards other people? If this is presented without aplomb and counter-condemnation, then no. So why do you need friends? You often hear clients exclaim, “For the sake of this, I stopped communicating with all my friends! I don’t have any close people left except for him!” Let’s leave aside the age-old argument about who is to blame. We assume that one person cannot replace the entire host of friends and comrades. Communication between people is a very multifaceted process that occurs at several levels simultaneously, performs many tasks and is accompanied by mutual personal change. If all functions are assigned to one person, then it is no wonder that a special dependence is formed on this person. And if the relationship develops well, then this dependence is not experienced as a problem. If a relationship fails, the problem immediately reveals itself. Equally important, the system of relationships itself becomes one-sided. Even if the opponent is a very versatile person, he somehow has his own set of life attitudes, firm principles and learned rules. Those. You receive a standard set of reactions in response to your requests and over time you learn to react in a similar way. In addition to what has been said, NO ONE WILL EVER APPRECIATE the fact that you were left alone in order to be with a person. This person certainly won’t appreciate it. And he won’t even remember your sacrifice. But this unjustified sacrifice in most cases is irreparable! Mutual influence Forced isolation from those close to the heart and adaptation to parasites lead to character distortions. The more time passes, the less flexible thinking becomes, the more dreary life becomes and the more difficult it is to achieve change. At the same time, the environment.