Good afternoon. Today I want to talk about children's tantrums. Recently, the mother of a 2.5 year old girl came up to me and asked a question. What to do if your daughter falls and screams furiously, if something doesn’t suit her. This topic worries many mothers, so I decided to make this entry and post it on the site. To understand what causes children's tantrums and whims and what can provoke attacks, you must first separate the concepts of “whims” and “hysterics” Caprice (French - whim, whim) - the desire of children, especially preschool and primary school age, to achieve something forbidden, unattainable or impossible at the moment. Whims are usually causeless and are almost always accompanied by crying, screaming, stamping of feet, and throwing away the first objects that come to hand. Sometimes a child’s whims are ridiculous and completely impossible to fulfill. For example, he suddenly wants milk, which is not in the house, or he wants to take a freight elevator, but a passenger elevator has arrived, or he wants to go to kindergarten with his mother, and his grandmother is leading him. Often children, especially young children, 2-3 years old, cannot understand what they want. And the point here is not only that many of them do not yet know how to speak, but also that they lack the mental skills to generalize their experiences and emotions. Whims can be fleeting, they can last all day, sometimes whims continue for quite a long period - a month or two. Hysterics in children are characterized by incredible brightness, “playing for the public,” dependence on external circumstances and the presence of spectators. A child's hysteria is usually accompanied by minor seizures: loud crying, screaming, banging his head against a wall or floor, scratching his face. In severe cases (grand mal seizures), involuntary convulsions occur, as well as the so-called “hysterical bridge,” in which the child arches over. A characteristic feature of children's tantrums is that they arise in response to an insult or unpleasant news, intensify with increased attention from others and can quickly stop after this attention dries up. Favorable conditions for the occurrence of whims are overwork, an uncomfortable environment, uncomfortable clothing, poor well-being, increased emotional excitability, sensitivity. If whims and hysterics in children are constant, this may be a consequence of a disease of the nervous system, and the child should be shown to a neurologist. If everything is fine with health, and if the child does not allow himself to be whims or hysterics in front of one of the parents, then the root of the problem should be sought in family relationships, namely, in the parents’ reactions to the child’s behavior. Whims can arise in response to overly indulgent actions of adults, to their conflicting demands, or to overly strict measures that are applied to the baby. Children's tantrums and whims are almost always the result of improper parental behavior. If a child is allowed everything, all his demands are fulfilled, “as long as he doesn’t get upset,” then the consequences of such upbringing are the usual capriciousness, spoiledness and permissiveness. Many mothers fail to come up with anything in such a difficult situation and they prefer to give in, if only he would shut up. This, of course, is a forced, but dangerous path. It leads to the fact that the children’s reactions are reinforced and the next time something similar will happen again, only with even greater force. Parents should clearly define the list of permitted and prohibited things, and always adhere to the once established prohibition. A child prone to strong reactions exploits any crack in the relationship between family members. So he throws himself screaming on the floor, demanding something. The parents are adamant. Mom holds herself together with difficulty, but her fortitude does not last long, and she says: “Well, okay, let’s give in.” And that's all he needs. He screams and demands even more insistently. It is obvious that his demonstrative behavior was intended for his mother. Children are much more observant than we think. And they understand perfectly well that for candy, which mother does not give, they need to go to grandfather, that they need to go for a walk with.