Human development occurs through repetition and pain. When we move into adulthood, we not only acquire new resources and greater responsibility, but also lose our former childhood privileges. It is normal that we are sad to lose childhood privileges and fear adult responsibilities. If you look at growing up from the point of view of neurotic development, then you have to admit the impossibility of the previous close relationships with parents, that childhood security, and you have to admit that something did not happen in childhood and will never happen again. It is normal that a collision with such a reality causes feelings of rage, despair, denial of loss and a search for ways to find some kind of compromise. Often such a compromise becomes a dependent relationship. It is important to live through your grief of the impossibility of something, and then acceptance of the limitations of life will come. Grief for living becomes available only in adolescence, when a person has already formed a sufficiently stable personality in order to rely on his internal resources and accept the inevitability of what is happening. When a person is disappointed in the power and omnipotence of his mother, he begins to take care of himself more and more . This is a natural process of human development. If suddenly a person learned the full weight of frustration and the pain of loneliness before he was ready for it, then great damage is done to his psyche. And here you need not to look for your mother, but to live through your too early growing up. Therapy allows such a person to gradually, in doses, experience disappointment in the therapist, just as he should have lived through it gradually in his relationship with his parents. A person can digest and survive such gradual disappointment and maturation without compromising his self-esteem or his sense of security. Gradually a person will gain his inner stability. And he will be able to withstand emotionally and psychologically those stresses of life that an adult can withstand, but cannot withstand the child he was.