If you imagine life as a game. And according to Freud, mental maturation is like 4 levels that you need to go through and collect maximum bonuses on each, then life itself and the tasks in it become a little clearer. Let's check who has failed which levels specifically for you. We bend our fingers. The more you bend at each level, the less you got from this life. LEVEL 1 - SECURITY fear of disappearing or being absorbed fear of loneliness or losing yourself in a relationship no basic trust in the world, a feeling that the world is unsafe confidence that people can betray and let you down a feeling of uselessness it seems like you were born in vain or were born into the wrong family as if it is impossible to find oneself - it is difficult to make decisions to take responsibility for one’s life / work / property there is a need for authority at work / family / society 2 LEVEL - HEALTHY AGGRESSION the expectation that something will not be enough (money, attention, clients, market , products, services, etc.) a wild reluctance to obey or depend on someone, or, on the contrary, a desire to dominate, humiliate or subjugate (to be a tyrant) a feeling that the world is very tough or cruel in a relationship, either you or your partner behaves like a boss or educator , which trains a feeling of internal insufficiency or defectiveness auto-aggression irritability destructive thoughts and actions that prevent you from moving and achieving goals lack of self-worth high self-control / moral principles / morality 3 LEVEL - SELF-ESTEEM no sense of value shame inferiority, worthlessness feeling of worthlessness and insufficiency impostor complex or feigned excessive self-confidence, as overcompensation for uncertainty need to make additional efforts efforts to to receive love or benefits, they won’t just give you an ugly duckling complex, all people are like people, but there’s something wrong with me; a feeling of powerlessness and injustice; excessive idealization of others; the inability to feel attention and respect from other people. LEVEL 4 - MALE AND FEMALE STRATEGIES; a feeling of guilt in everything; everything that is being done is not so scary showing up scary conquering no internal permission to claim something more in a relationship/career/money/status feeling that the world doesn’t like you no feeling of one’s own attractiveness giving in and agreeing under tension, conflict or competition the desire to be unnoticed as a man or woman or a hyper need for desire being noticed envy of successful people fear of losing So what? how many fingers did you bend? If it’s a lot, then don’t be upset - it means that the world is waiting to give you all those gifts that you didn’t have time to collect in this cool game called “ADULT LIFE.” Levels are always filled from the first. It is impossible to feel power without living and integrating total security - every act of showing power and action will cause anxiety, not excitement or delight. And so on. This is how the psyche works. And the most interesting thing is that she ALWAYS strives to grow up, which means she will push us into situations and attract people to us who will help us relive this experience and receive the bonuses that we deserve. And only our choice is to face what is painful and incomprehensible alone and be retraumatized (receive even greater injuries and pain) or in the company of a mentor to go through this in safe conditions, with the load and intensity that you can withstand in a session with a psychologist who will support, resource and accept anyone. Therefore, I invite you to join a group for personal therapeutic mentoring, where you and I will grow up and appropriate everything that life has prepared for us, what we deserve and what is rightfully ours. At a gentle and comfortable pace. This is just a month, which will give a lot of resources and then you yourself will decide to grow further or is enough for you. Yana Yamnikova. 11/29/2023 This article is the object of intellectual (copyright) rights by virtue of Art. 1255 of the Civil Code of the Russian Federation and not