From the author: I am starting to publish fragments of my book “How to save a family or when is it better to get a divorce” Fragment of the book by Alexander Kichaev “How to save a family or when is it better to get a divorce” Everyone creates the family that which he deserves. And even the most honest and decent person can create with his own hands a union that is more reminiscent of a serpentarium than a family. After all, as we know, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. How is it possible: we wanted the best, but it turned out as always?! Yes, alas, many smart and kind people, good professionals, specialists, respectable citizens are psychologically illiterate and are guided in relationships mainly by the so-called worldly wisdom! This is not taught in school, and even in institutes, psychological knowledge is usually divorced from life, not adapted and too academically “correct”. As a psychologist, I often have to observe how, because of this, ridiculous and sometimes tragic mistakes are made, families, relationships, destinies collapse... Therefore, my main task in this book is to share my knowledge, my experience of successfully managing relationships with the world of which I am a part is family. I want your family to become your material and spiritual support, energy resource and source of happiness in this life. Over my many years of practice, I have helped save hundreds of families, and then, analyzing this experience, I came up with certain rules and patterns for a happy and successful family. I want to share my knowledge with you. And when, thanks to this book, your family comes out of the crisis with dignity, or you give up in time the hopeless efforts to resuscitate what has long been outdated, and boldly go in search of a companion worthy of you, then this book was not written in vain... IntroductionFrom childhood in The expression is firmly entrenched in my mind: “The family is the unit of society.” Society seemed to me like an endless series of cells, like automatic lockers at a train station. Inside, little people live as a family, and outside are those without a family. Some prudently make their own cell, building on it or attaching it to the social row, others are fussily looking for free cells to make them a container for their future family, others, looking around furtively, pick up keys or closely look out for poorly closed doors of cells where they can penetrate to destroy someone’s family...Then, when I became interested in psychology and especially psychoenergetics, I had a different image of a family. It is a living, pulsating creature, similar to the Yin-Yang symbol, which moves in a spiral, experiencing ups and downs. Moreover, each new turn has an increasingly greater time amplitude. First a month, then a year, then three years, seven years, fifteen, twenty-five... Pulsation is the internal energy of relationships in the family, and ups and downs are a manifestation of the harmony or disharmony of the family’s vitality, its rhythm. And they depend on many reasons. These are age and social changes of spouses, age and number of children, coincidence or divergence of life values, physiological and psychological compatibility. As well as a host of other factors, including the location of planets, stars, numbers, etc. But often the spiral of family life suddenly breaks off or turns into a dull movement in a vicious circle and gradually accumulated resources dry up, crises become more frequent and longer, and family life stops, frozen at the point of no return. Is it possible to avoid the “wrong” development of family relationships and save the family? It is possible, but for this you need to know and effectively use strategies and ways to preserve family relationships. That’s what we’ll do in this book. To paraphrase the classic, I’ll say that Unhappy wives are NOT happy in their own way. If Mendelssohn’s march for many marks the beginning of a new life - the birth of a family, then the demise of family relationships is accompanied differently for everyone. For some this happens in oppressive silence, for others amid hysterical exclamations, the clashing of dishes, clapping/