From the author: The article was published on my blog “Errors in thinking or conversations for understanding” From Wikipedia: Understanding is a psychological state, the correct perception or interpretation of any event, phenomenon, fact, accepted in a certain circle. Cognition is a creative process of obtaining and constantly updating the knowledge necessary for a person. In psychology, the ability to mentally perceive and process external information. As we found out in the previous article, we have practically no desire to understand something new. Most often we seek confirmation of our knowledge and agreement with it. It is impossible to fill a cup that is already full. In order to have the opportunity to let something new into ourselves, we need to empty our cup of knowledge, and most importantly, stop defending what you know and what you are confident in. How to develop the ability to understand? If you decide to let something new into yourself, do not try to understand it right away, explain this new thing with your old concepts, let go of your knowledge. Let the new information enter you from beginning to end, accept it without comprehension. And only after complete receive information and comprehend it in volume. To practice, try to fully listen to someone's opinion with which you disagree. Do not interrupt, do not argue, do not express your opinion, do not concentrate on your thoughts, show interest in the information. If, after receiving the information in full, you feel that something is not clear to you, ask clarifying questions, and you will see that there is a rational grain in another opinion. You will have a new understanding. When developing an understanding of something new, a desire for knowledge arises. After all, only the desire for knowledge can lead a person out of the vicious circle of monotony (same results), show different sides, for example, of the same problem, the same action. New horizons of vision are opening up. But it often happens that having made the first breakthrough in understanding, we are faced with a trap that can return us back to the same rails of protecting our own, but new knowledge, rather than following the path of knowledge. It happens like this: when we learn something new and important, we have a desire to share our new knowledge with others. This new knowledge turns out to be so important for us at the moment that we perceive it as the ultimate truth. When we talk about new knowledge emotionally, we may again be faced with the fact that our new knowledge is either agreed or disagreed. New knowledge may seem so simple and understandable to us that we will rush around with it like a flag, trying with all our might to prove its validity. Little by little, we again slip back into just searching for agreement with our new knowledge. We fell into a trap and returned to where we already were. And again - nothing new. The movement towards knowledge stops. In fact, the desire to know is an innate human desire. But this desire is blocked even in childhood, when parents set strict restrictions - this is possible, but this is not possible. It is at this moment that our thinking stops, rules and guidelines appear, according to which a person begins to live without thinking and defending these rules and guidelines. Recently I witnessed the following conversation between children: One girl asks the other: “Which of us is older?” The second replies: “Let me be!” Mom intervenes in the conversation: “Well, how are you? You’re only five years old, and Olya is already seven.” To which the five-year-old girl very plaintively asked: “Well, can I be the eldest?” The possibility of knowing what it means to be older is suspended by certain rules of society - whoever is older is older. But aren’t there cases when the youngest in age turned out to be much older than the older in age? Older in wisdom, understanding and awareness, in responsibility? The second trap that interferes with understanding and learning something new may be the inability to think and reflect. Each of us hascertain mental personality habits that make it difficult for us to think. Namely: The habit of comparing. Have you ever caught yourself when someone starts to tell something, and you immediately interrupt: “And I...” or “But you...” well, or just start thinking about your own, making comparisons? Your own is always the height of wisdom, sanity and interestingness. Alien is unnecessary information. The habit of making excuses. Has this ever happened to you when some information threatened your self-image, your thinking and adequate perception of information stopped? Instead, they began to search for an excuse to save their image: “It’s not my fault.” Habit of resistance to change. How often do you immediately begin to deny new ideas and new opportunities? Accustomed to doing things one way, we resent being asked to do something differently. Habits of thinking and acting in a certain way are convenient and do not contribute to thinking at all. The habit is the fear of not meeting expectations. Pay attention, are you saying and doing what is best for you or what others expect from you? Very often, expressing your opinion turns out to be death, which is why some simply do not have it. Over time, many of us completely forget how to think for ourselves, and worry more about fitting into something. The habit of generalizing and stereotypical thinking. How often do you resort to classifications and generalizations? Very often it is easier to simply define a person than to try to understand him. Stereotypes and classifications drive us into certain frameworks where thinking is completely unnecessary. The habit of deceiving yourself. Has it ever happened to you that, deceiving yourself about something, you begin to blindly believe it? We can come up with some advantages for ourselves, completely ignoring the fact that reality does not correspond to our fantasies. We would rather start blaming others for what doesn’t happen the way we want than to start thinking about what’s wrong. All these habits lead us to stop thinking altogether. For example, a question is asked, and we begin to answer it with an opinion, belief or concept that is convenient for us. By ceasing to think and realize, we begin to “tailor” a ready-made answer to the question. Thinking and realizing in our world is generally becoming an unusual thing. But without this we will never understand anything, let alone know anything. When my children were little, I sometimes had to say “no” to some of their wishes, but they always asked the question “why?” If I answered them with some rule or concept, they remained dissatisfied and began to “torture” me until I thought about this question and sincerely answered them why. For example, a child could take off his shoes and walk barefoot on the pavement, to which I could demand that he immediately put on shoes. To the question “why?” I answered that this is not the way it is done in the city. This answer did not satisfy them, and they moved on: “Why is it not accepted?” The next answer could be: “Because no one does that.” This answer gave rise to another question: “Why doesn’t anyone do this?” etc. Sooner or later, parents reach a dead end, and they are left with two options for behavior - to raise their voices at their child with a demand for compliance, or to understand for themselves why they cannot walk along the pavement barefoot and explain this to their children. If we don’t start thinking about the questions, then we will always be in what we already are, we will only be in assessments - right or wrong, only in defending what we already know. The ability to think and learn something new is blocked not only by personal qualities, but also by our society. Have you ever wondered why so many entertainment shows are created? Since it is more important for a person to relieve tension than to deal with a problem, then learning something new (and when we encounter a problem, we always encounter something unknown to us, most often.