Narcissism is always bad, isn't it? If you try to read on the topic of narcissism, you are unlikely to come across anything good on this topic. You can find many questions: “What is narcissism?”, “How can you tell if your partner is a narcissist?”, “Am I a narcissist?”, “Narcissistic personality disorder”, etc. It's hard to say anything good about the character, the legend who drowned himself. You can, of course, sympathize with a person who died of love. After all, we sympathize with “Young Werther.” But that bastard Narcissus died of self-love! And his girlfriend suffered so much without him that only her voice remained, by the way, her name was Echo. So, you can understand Darina's surprise when I told her that we need to work on developing healthy narcissism. “Is there such a thing as healthy narcissism?!” - she asked incredulously. “I always thought that narcissism is something negative.” Of course, how can one still think in a country that has recently triumphed over socialism. In which collectivism was the only ideology. Selfishness was akin to betrayal of the homeland, and individualism was simply a curse. However, other times came. The state no longer demands that we give up everything personal for the sake of the public. Now, in “leadership and successology” courses, they teach you how to squeeze a slave out of yourself drop by drop. But not everyone succeeds... So Darina is a wonderful, intelligent and creative person, she does not die of self-love, but on the contrary, she will never look in the mirror again, which is typical of all women - only out of necessity. We can say that the working day does not end for her. When one difficult project at work comes to an end, she feels no satisfaction, but rushes into the next problem with grim determination. Praise for her sounds like punishment because it causes a heavy feeling of embarrassment. Needless to say, romantic relationships for her are anti-science fiction...Darina has just begun the difficult path “to her beloved.” Doesn't remind you of anything? Back in 1985, a film was released on the screens of the Soviet Union, rather a black comedy, because there were no horror films then - all life was... Well, the role of the “good monster” was played by - no, not a psychologist, but a sociologist, armed with a computer. For those who don’t remember, let me explain that in the West there were already personal computers, but in the Soviet Union there could only be public Electronic Computing Machines. And so, this almost cyborg, with initiative, decided to help her friend. Who stayed too long in the girls. And he begins to teach her “scientific methods of seduction.” The most revealing scene in this film is how a psychologist, oh excuse me, a sociologist, gives her an auto-training session: “.. let’s do auto-training together. I’m starting to get out of shape. Sit down. Are you ready? Yes. Then let’s go. I’m the most charming and attractive. That’s it. men are crazy about me. I have a slender figure, beautiful legs. I can change men like gloves. Twist and twirl them like a juggler with clubs.” And then the husband of our psychologist comes in... “What are you doing? What happened? Tired, sat down to rest Dear, I have a favor to ask you. Promise that you will fulfill it! I promise...” Doesn’t remind you of anything? No, I’m not talking about my husband...So why did it happen that some need to learn to love their neighbor, while others do not know how to love themselves? As we all know, we all come from childhood. Enough and even too much has already been written about malignant narcissism, so I will focus only on our topic. Unlike most animals, children are born completely helpless. And expecting complete self-care is a natural need. Otherwise, why did they give birth to me? I won’t survive myself!!! The narcissistic phase of development begins around the age of one year - the child “consciously” frowns, avoids eye contact if he doesn’t like something. When children begin to speak, their vocabulary should include not only such desirable words as mom and dad, I love you, but also such important words for the child as “No”, “Myself”, “I”, “My” and “ No". During this period, the child still feels like the center of the universe. And no.