There are such “balances of power” in families, couples, unions, when one of the partners clearly feels an imbalance. He invests a lot of resources in the relationship: effort, time, energy, finances, health, and so on. But the answer is zero. And, it happens that they also devalue him, and take all his efforts for granted. I have already posted material on the pages of the b17 portal about depreciation from the outside. Loved ones. I would not like to repeat myself here. In this material, this is what I will focus on. If you now have a strong feeling that you have invested a lot, that you have taken many steps towards, but your partner does not appreciate it, then you should ask yourself a few questions. 1) What do you have reason to believe that the return should be exactly as you expect? Unfortunately, people often find themselves captive to their own expectations and distortions. Do they have some kind of dream. They have an idea that this is how it should be. And, it is possible that the partner has a completely different picture of the world, different values ​​and priorities. 2) Does your partner really need everything that you do? Did he ask for it? Did he say that this is what is important to him? Unfortunately, there are also cases when a person throws a lot of energy into a certain area. And for the partner, this sphere is in fifteenth place: “Well, let it be.” 3) You give it to your partner. What are you doing for yourself? What do you invest in yourself? When you give all of yourself to relationships, when you do everything for the sake of others, you risk receiving even more depreciation in your address. Only by giving resources to another, but without replenishing them, you risk reaching depletion yourself. And so exhausted, you won’t be of interest to your partner, and you simply won’t have the strength to live your life. Of course, you have to try, you have to share. But “you have to pay yourself first.” This is in your own interests.4) What exactly are you trying to earn with such behavior? It happens that a person has firmly held on to a certain model of behavior since childhood. And he implements certain patterns. He tries to please everyone. Trying to prove something. Trying to earn love. A. when he looks back, he begins to understand that colossal resources have been spent, and internal deficits have not been closed. 5) If you no longer do this for your partner, how will he behave? If you are not around. If your efforts don’t happen. It happens that when answering this question, people bitterly give the answers: “He will live as he lived,” “Nothing will change in his life.” Therefore, if there is a persistent feeling that you are not appreciated, that If you are not being given enough, then it is worth looking at this situation from different angles. Perhaps you yourself are mistaken about something. It might be worth changing your approach. And, the option cannot be ruled out when it’s time to call it a day. Vera Bokareva, psychologist, sexologist, doctor of scientific sciences. If you need my advice, please contact usContacts: WhatsApp / Viber / Telegram: +7-963-231-37-12 verabo.ru